If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free, you either MARRIED it or gave BIRTH to it!

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

I have been divorced since October 31, 1994 and I always tell people I was divorced for religious reasons He thought he was God and I didnt.

Statistics show most of us do not like change or the unexpected. Life can indeed be cruel to some people, for there is a great change in the mind and body as we age. Therefore, with insanity as my only means of relaxation, prepare yourself for something a little out of the realm of discussions and into the world of truth and laughter. LAUGHTER is good medicine.

One of life's many mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely. This is not particularly good when driving! I hear the gasps, but think about those times where your mind has wondered and before you know it you have reached your destination and dont remember the journey. It doesnt happen to me a lot but it has happened more than once in my life.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. Isnt this the truth?

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. This was particularly true when I lived North of the 60th Parallel in the Arctic Circle.

I have heard that the older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today! This one always makes me laugh.

Sometimes I think I understand everything and then I regain consciousness.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

Did you hear about the woman who confused her valium with her birth control pills? She had 14 kids but she doesnt really care! I wonder if her name was Old Mother Hubbard!

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their clothes.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

Its a good thing I accept my body and love my mind. For the most part I would say my mind is sharp but every now and then

My forgetter's getting better, but my rememberer is broke.

To you that may seem funny but to me, that is no joke.

For when I'm "here", I'm wondering if I really should be "there".

And when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room, say "What am I here for?"

I wrack my brain but all in vain, a zero is my score.

At times I put something away where it is safe, but, Gee!

The person it is safest from is generally me!

When shopping I may see someone, say "Hi" and have a chat,

But, when the person walks away I ask myself, "Whos that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better, while my rememberer is broke.

So, it's driving me plumb crazy, and that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

I hope so, because I don't remember where I obtained this. So there you have it with no caution to the wind.

Care to share your random thoughts?

~ Jo