I swore up and down five years ago when I had a job working at Target that I'd never take a job where they'd make me pee in a cup for a pre-employment drug screening. We'll fast forward five years and the fact that I need insurance, a new laptop etc I had to go at that again. Needless to say finding and maintaining employment has been a struggle for me, in general I'm in a bad place in my life right now. I've got no friends and I still live with my parents and can barely wait for the day when I'll be financially secure enough to move out. I've been working part time as an office assistant for about 6 months now, the people are wonderful and I'm so happy to be in that environment but I don't make/work enough hours for insurance. I was just offered a position recently to work as an overnight cashier at a hotel. That made my day when I got the invite back after the interview, but when I came home instead of congratulations I was met with doom and gloom from the folks. Thus one of the reasons why I'll rejoice the day when I can get my own place. They are well intentioned, concerned for my safety, which I understand but what I need for them to understand is this is the best I can do for now considering the circumstances. Full time jobs with benefits are few and far between, many people have to freelance and work two jobs to make it. It's like my folks want to have their cake and eat it to - fill me with woe about not having insurance and working part time but then disapprove of what supplemental income I was lucky enough to find. I hate my life so much right now. I'm praying to get through this and one day finally stop having to bounce from dead end job to dead end job and get the chance to to what I really want to do in life.
i just don't see how any of this can ever get any better.It still all has me in its sharp talons of memory of trying to forget.How long do i have to sit and process?i don't want to "sit with the feelings".i have been trying to do that for years.i guess i am not working hard enough.i feel so desperate.
Hey everyone. I haven't been on here much lately since my father died and everything with the pandemic. I want to feel like I can contribute words that will give comfort to others but I just don't feel like I have any right now. But I got to get all this out. So this might be a long post. Thanks in advance if you read part or all of it.A friend of mine turned out not to be such a great friend...