I would suggest that you ask for a meeting with all parties present: Myrna, you and the school administration. Then have the discussion regarding what is happening and get to the bottom of it. The kids do not need to be present at the meeting, because adults can be intimidating to the kids and that would just complicate things. Surely there are teachers on playground duty that are witnesses to the aggressive behaviour displayed by Myrna. If so then the witnesses should also be at the meeting.

I wish you luck.

You ask to have a meeting, like Gramonline has suggested. Or if it were me- I'd pull her aside and logically put her in her place. It's a good way to keep above the level of insults.

In other words you ask questions, "Why are you picking on a child, that is in 4th grade? Do you have nothing better to do then to pick on a young girl...?"---- Least this is just me.. You play smart, but not as insulting. Questions are not insulting. You don't respond to the answers, the questions are meant to make the bully think- so if you must respond you respond with a simple, "Okay. Well, maybe you should think about how it makes you look as a person." And walk away. Some may find this harsh- but being someone who as dealt with bullies herself, I've found it stops them in their tracks. In most cases.

In one form or another you need to confront Myrna, what she is doing is really terrible.

It is always horrible when anyone is bullied, but being bullied by a parent, this is horrible. It makes it harder for your daughter because she will obviously see this person as an authority figure.

You need to talk to Myrna, ask her what the hell is going on, what she has against your daughter and why she is giving your daughter a hard time.

You need to let her know that she should not speak to your daughter directly and not threaten her friends.

If I were guessing I would say that this Myrna needs counselling.

Myrna is the craziest woman I have ever met in my life and anyone that has met her feels the same way. Tash was never allowed sleep overs at there house Airel was onlt allowed here. I did let Tash go for play dates there but look what that got me. Once Nikki told me what Myrna was doing there I told Tash she could tell her off anytime she felt theathen in any way. That's what she spoke to her the way she did.

If tash spoke to another adult that way she wouldn't be able to see light for a week, my kid has manners that's a must in my home but...not with people that do things like this. When a 9 years old ask you why a freinds mom is so mean to her and what did she do to deserve this (while crying) you just want to grab your shot gun and go ask the source.

The problem with confronting her is I don't know if I could hold my temper. If she said something mean well anythng about my kid I would lose it because of the way she brings up her own kid. She is not a good mom at all. She has no right even talking to me about how I sohuld be doing anything with my kid so he can pretty much bite me....see I can't do it. I know if she says one word I will lose my mind.

When I was gorwing up I was the one that protecting all the kids that got picked on. It was just the way it was and I made a lot of great friends that way but it also kept the school at a low fight rate because everfyone new not to medd with the "geeks" as they called them then sorry. But they new I would come after them and it only took once going after and catching one for them to all get scared so it stopeed just like that.

Sorry this is so long again but I have a lot to say on the matter and this is very close to my heart so I need to speak my peace.

Hugs to all, V

firefly - you are right. myrna is seriously screwed in the head to do this to a child. she has some really screwy issues floating around in her head. who knows if they will someday turn physical???

i would go to the police and tell them that your daughter is frightened of this woman, and see if you can get a restraining order placed on her to stay away from your child.

that should solve her coming to the school.

but beware, as psycho as this woman sounds, she will probably find another way of getting to your girl. you may want to consider moving your daughter to another school.

My heart aches for you because I know you must be feeling very helpless to protect your daughter right now. When I have been in that situation I felt anger and frustration.

My first suggestion is always to try to talk to the person who is doing the bullying to get some understanding of their actions. In this case, because it IS a parent who should know better, it makes it much more difficult.

I think you did the right thing trying to allow your daughter to handle it at first, but the time has come to step in. If you are feeling alot of anger, it probably wont do much good to approach the parent yourself. It will just make things worse.

I agree that a meeting between the principal, the parent, yourself and any other adult that may have witnessed the bullying come together and have a meeting. The most difficult part of that is your daughter wont be present to defend herself against her attacker about false accusations that you are not aware of.

Document EVERYTHING that your daughter tells you. It will be important to have that info in the meeting.

What does Ariel say about her mothers actions? Is it possible that Myrna feels in some misguided way that she is protecting Ariel from something? Sometimes parents transfer anger from their own children. Its possible that Ariel has told her mother things that possibly are not true about your daughter that has angered her.

There are alot of ways this can go and your attitude will play heavily on the outcome. Please try, as difficult as it is, to stay calm and centered. Focus on the fact that the most important thing here is that your daughter is protected from the bullying without ramifications from Myrna or friends later. The best way to do this is to avoid "angry" confrontation.

Go into the meeting with a positive attitude that things are going to work out for the best. The more positive you can be, the better example that is for your daughter and for you. Be calm but factual and dont play into Myrnas hands by reacting to her obvious immaturity or misguided emotion.

I will be thinking of you and praying for a good outcome. Hugs

First of all, I would go in for lunch myself and see what goes on, without saying you are there. I would also walk into the principal's office and tell him/her you are not leaving until something is done. There is Zero Tolerance in teh schools and the authorities never seem to follow it. My son was bullied by a father and it is worse almost than by the kids, but that was there too. You have got to be your daughter's advocate and if the principal does not do anything, go to the superintendant. Do not let this woman do this to your child, her school time is her time, not the moms.
Kristen L. Baker, M.L.C.

Update...

It seems that today Ariel pulled a friend of my kids out of line and my kid told Airel she couldn't do that. Well Airel went to her mom and her mom went to the principal and the principal had a "no big deal talk with my daughter" which scared her to death. She thought that it would go in her school file forever. She came home crying her eyes out.

Then my daugthers friend that lives next door accidentally hit ariel in the head very soft with a lemon and then Myrna chased both my daughter and Tanner (next door boy friend) down in her car until they ran in to the front of someones house and jumped in a bush. Then that crazy broad rolled her window down and screamed at my daughter that...she better have her butt at that school office Monday morning because ...SHE IS IN TROUBLE NOW and a few more choice things but my kid came home completely terrified that she was going to kill her and Tanner.

She just took it to the next level....now it's my turn and she is done...I'll keep you updated...V

Hmmm!...If that was happening to my daughter...I would confront Myrna...Explain to her that whilst she is at school with her daughter...SHE is not a school child who can bully little children...SHE needs to grow up...

Yes you can be the adult & rise above it...Teach your daughter to be the better person...but that woman...A adult...is still allowed to bully a young child...

Why should she be allowed to get away with it...Personally I would go up the school & say what I think about a adult being allowed to bully my child whilst in their care...

If it is not sorted I would take my child out of that school & threaten to report the school to the school authorities...

Good luck xxx

I thought parents have to get a vistor pass to be on campus even for a private school. What is wrong with the mother. Being a bully and making the kids hate your daughter or bully her through them. I think you need to go higher then the principal, does the private school have like board of trustees that make decision for the school. I think there is more to what is going on at the school. I would visit the school at her lunch time and watch what is going on I know you probably work but I would make arrangements with your work and watch from a distance and see what is going on. That is what I would do because I have dealt with the same thing with my sons school and its a public school.

I don't have much experience with those things but i think that what Myrna did is agression and you should get a restraining order

I was just about to suggest that. If someone chased my kid down with their car, I'd be on the phone with the police, filing charges with them, filing a lawsuit, and getting a restraining order.
I hope things are better now...
*hugs*

That lady sounds like she needs a swift kick in her ass.. I know your trying to be the better person . But if it was my kid I would have whooped her butt like maybe her parents should have.. Look at what she is teaching her kid. If the school is allowing her to come to the school and your kid is being terrorized by this PSYCHO I would have a restraining order put on this woman.. Seriously she sounds like a loose cannon and you never know with those type of people she could snap and harm your child one day GODS FORBID. that's what I would do seriously and quick!!

I'd just go straight to the police for the whole chasing them down in her car thing. What she's doing is wrong and probably illegal, she needs to be put in her place. I was bullied by a mom and her daughter in middle school, trust me, if I could go back in time and do something to make them both stop, I would.
Your daughter sounds like a great person for telling that woman off. :)
I hope you are able to fix the problem, and make sure your daughter never sees her again :)
good luck!

UPDATE - Last year after the "chasing my kid down with her car deal" she was told to stop it with my kid or she would have me to deal with. She was also told if I find out she looks, talks or gets within 5 feet of my kid she will not like the out come!! I have no idea how she got that info but I know for sure she got it lol. She has not been back since. Her daughter on the other hand would not let up and she made my kid lose every friend she had and my daughter still did not want me to get invloved. I figured if she wants to handle it then let her, it will teach her a lot about people and how to handle them.

When Myrna (the mom) got out of the picture Airel started to talk to Nik and last week Ariel asked Nik if she wanted to met and the park to play for a few hours. I new they had begun to get a long again but didn't like the idea of her meeting for a play date at the park. Well she finally talked me in to it and I thought I could do a few drive bys and check things so as long as Ariel's mom new what they were doing it was ok.

Ariel said she had talked to her mom and she was fine with it so Tash went. She called me every hour to check in and the drive by looked good. Then I didn't hear from her for over an hour and I was getting upset. Just as I was heading out the door the phone rings and it's ariels house phone...I was like WTF she is not suppose to be there EVER. Come to find out Nikki's phone was in her jacket pocket and someone (no one else was there) stole her phone. Nikki was so upset she didn't know what to do so she ran to Ariels house...it's like 3 houses away from the park. I sent the hubby to get Tash at Ariels. I still think Ariel stole that phone but the bottom line is Ariel never asked her mom and lied about the whole thing.

I guess she got in to trouble because that Monday she started on Nik at school. (Tash sprained her ankle so I must go to her class to pick her up)and she proceeded to tell me that Ariel had made up more lies about her and she couldn't take it any more.

That was it, After Ariel got past the school gate I walked up to her and said if you don't stop spreading rumors that aren't true about my daughter you will not like what I am going to do. Well Grandma saw me from across the street and comes running over saying what you say to her WHAT WHAT WHAT...I told her to quit speard lies about my kid and you better make sure she does.

Grandma then made the worse mistakes possible...she said we'll your kid ain't no better and shes no princness either. Wrong I got in her face and said if you ever say 1 word to me about my kid for any reason I am going to kick your ass right here so shut the hell up. It scared them and off the ran with there tail between there legs...it was pretty funny....Tash did not like it one bit.

I got a call from school asking if it was on school property which I said no to and then was told that Ariel has been really being mean behind Nikkis back. These girls are scared of Ariel so they do what ever she says out of fear. My kid wouldn't do it so she was toutured. Anyway the school said that some of these girls are afraid but want to be Nikkis friend not Ariels so Ariel was told be the principal to stop it or she will get kicked out of school.

Best part is Ariels best friend was one of those girls and now hangs out with my kid and Ariel eats lunch all by her self just like Tash did HA....what comes around goes around..ya gotta love the way my kid handle it.

Sorry this was so long but I thought that for 10 years old my daughter did a better job of handling it then I ever would have.