Bullying Support Group

Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get advice.

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Bullied in high school. Still not over it.

I was bullied in high school and I started to have panic attacks and really not trust people my age because the people my age in school were bitchy and I still find it very hard to trust people that are my age. I fear that they will talk about me, and I now have social anxiety because I think that people will bully me or judge me. Can anyone relate? How do I begin to trust people again and move on from this?

Replies

LoveAlice
LoveAlice

You don't have to trust everyone. You just need to feel more calm and relaxed in social situations. I'm sorry you were bullied. They were bitches though who don't matter. What they say about you doesn't matter. Because you know the real you. They were just drama freaks trying to get attention and bring people down. They thought gossiping was cool. They were idiots lol. Now, if someone were to say something about you or be mean to you, who cares? You know? They don't matter, only what YOU think about yourself matters. It's hard not to let others bring you down. But, just keep telling yourself that you are better than them and that what they think or say does not matter because who are they to you? They are just a random miserable or bitchy person.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks LoveAlice. It was nice to read your reply to my message. I will try to remember what you have said the next time I'm worried about it.
LoveAlice
LoveAlice

Good! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

You should keep your self-confidence, open-minded
deleted_user
deleted_user

I can relate to your experience.

School was a difficult social experience for me as well.

It left me with some of the social anxieties you described.

I have come a long way in my personal growth with this, but it will always be a part of me, and it will always be something to work on.

After graduating high school, i left the area in an attempt to distance myself from the painful memories. I have lived in different parts of the country and have been able to have a reasonably normal, well adjusted life.

But lately, I have moved back to the area where I grew up, and am finding that some of the old issues and feelings are resurfacing. Feelings of mistrust and anxiety, etc.

It is not as intense as when I was younger, but it is clearly still there, and it clearly needs to be addressed.

Was/is this a factor for you at all? Were you able to move away from where you grew up, and have that help you make peace with the past? And if so, do those old feelings come up for you when you come home for a visit, or at the idea of moving back?

I wanted to let you know that I can relate to what you are experiencing and to let you know that you are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I'm so very sorry you are going through this, emma5. My youngest daughter went through something similar, although she is suffering PTSD because of it. She also has bipolar, mild OCD, night terrors, ADHD, and we had to pull her from school because of the horrible damage to her. She's 5'6" and dropped down to 104 lbs. We've got her back up to 130 lbs. now. But unless it is online, she refuses to associate with kids her age.

I wish I knew what to tell you, but I'm trying to figure out how to get her out of her shell, again and able to function in the real world. She can't be 16 forever.

Hugz!

Raeyne
deleted_user
deleted_user

Emma, I just saw a quote on facebook that helped me with this issue. Sometimes it's better to have 4 quarters then 100 pennies. Like LoveAlice said, you don't have to trust everyone. Trust your inner voice and look for people who have similar interests as you.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000

I was bullied in high school. It made me a better person, more concerned about others. I am more likely to intervene than others (when I saw a girl being yelled at by her father, I said something)

I think you can get over it and become a better person. There is karma and I enjoyed childhood and high school through my son who turned out to be one of the most popular kids, had sports success, girls, popularity and it was nice seeing.
Spiky
Spiky

I know what you mean about being judged. Luckily as an adult you have some choices about which social environments to subject yourself to. I choose social settings in which I don't feel like I need to impress anyone or live up to their expectations, by befriending open-minded people. It doesn't eliminate the social anxiety completely but feeling like there is at least some place to which you belong and can feel ok with being you is a great emotional haven.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Wow thanks for all the responses. Ramonaledge I still live in the same suburb that I grew up in. I see the school people at the shops occasionally and at birthdays and I usually panic when I see the really confident, loud people because i assume they will talk about me. I sound like a crazy person lol but I think the social anxiety really started from high school and I can't seem to change that belief that people are judging me/talking about me. I am seeing a psychologist though and she is helping me look realistically at situations and it's helping slowly but the beliefs are very ingrained. Raeyne, I'm sorry to hear that your daughter experienced a similar thing. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone- being bullied was the worst experience of my life. As time goes on though people mature and I hope that she finds happiness and confidence.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Spikes, yes at the moment I feel anxious and paranoid around everyone so socialising isn't something I enjoy doing but with practice and the more times I do it hopefully the fear will reduce.
deleted_user
deleted_user

The eland, I love love love that quote. Thanks for sharing it with me.