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How did you get dad to step up?

deleted_user
deleted_user
So since I am breastfeeding I will admit that a majority of my newborns needs are met by me. Obviously the feedings, the diapering (I am not about to pass a baby over to get a change when I can do it just as easy, and better too) are handled by me, I am ensuring that my partner gets sleep as he wakes early to work and I am still on leave.
However, I need a break sometimes, its not like I leave the house anymore.
It seems like when the baby is crying he thinks its because she is hungry and doesnt try to comfort her or find the reason. I explained to him that since I feed on demand (and probably a little extra as I think she nurses for comfort) that the baby isn't going to be so hungry that she crys like that. It irritates me that when I am trying to get laundry/dinner/a shower done that he is unable to calm the baby down. Its like he doesn't think uggggghhhh. I am so frustrated with him and it makes me feel like I would be leaving baby with someone incapable of caring for her when I do go back to work!

WHAT DO I DO?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dads do things in different ways, not the way we would do things. However, you need to give him a chance to try and stop the crying. If you interfere too much, he won't want to help at all. I'm sure both of you are doing fine, but you need to let him do things his way (trust me after 3 kids this is what I've learned). As long as the baby isnt in any danger he's fine. As a new mom I know it's hard to let go, but let daddy do his part.

I hope this didn't come across like I was bashing you, I have 3 little ones that are badgering me and I need to start on dinner.

Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dads do things in different ways, not the way we would do things. However, you need to give him a chance to try and stop the crying. If you interfere too much, he won't want to help at all. I'm sure both of you are doing fine, but you need to let him do things his way (trust me after 3 kids this is what I've learned). As long as the baby isnt in any danger he's fine. As a new mom I know it's hard to let go, but let daddy do his part.

I hope this didn't come across like I was bashing you, I have 3 little ones that are badgering me and I need to start on dinner.

Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally agree with Maggieloop.... as a mother of 3 kids, the best advice I ever got was to "let go". As a control freak, this is difficult... but here's how I did it. I know my husband is a loving man, a devoted father and reasonably intelligent (kidding... very intelligent) and is blessed with a modicum of common sense. Although he was never as comfortable or confident as I was in caring for the newborn/infant stage... I knew he would never hurt the babies. So I would often leave the house so he could do it "his way". If I kept correcting him or criticizing him (and I did), he would never develop the confidence in his own parenting skills and style.... and even worse, wouldn't even want to try.

So my advice is to get your baby used to a bottle... pump some breast milk to leave with baby and hubby and leave the house. Try for an hour at a time. Go get a manicure.... take baby steps. Give him the chance to prove to himself that he can tend to his daughter, that he can learn to read her cues.... your whole family will be better off.

Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with them...Alot of new moms problem is letting go of the control. 'nobody can take care of my baby better then me' so then we just do it. All. But then we expect dad to know how to do everything....and we want him to do everything our way. That doesnt work. Let him take care of her while you are there , that way you can observe and if need be make subtle suggestions. A lot of times dads give up and back off because us moms wont stop nagging and taking control or tell them they are doing it wrong.....Just because they dont do things like us doesnt make it wrong...its just different.
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