Well, two more days until my Mastectomy w/ reconstruction and I'm more anxious and nervous than ever. My heart started beating faster as I wrote the first sentence. It's real now, it's going to happen and I am so, so scared. I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday to discuss what will happen on Friday, while most of it wasn't surprising, one factor was. She told me that I would have a catheter inserted into my bladder, something else to be worried and scared about on top of the surgery, proper care of the drains and possible chemo/radiation. I have a funny going on with my wife, I tell her that if I need to have chemo then at least I can start over with my hair because I've been having issues with it, lol. I have also been trying to stay stress free but that hasn't been working out too well because she is going through this with me also, she just lost her mother to cancer over a year ago and I keep forgetting about her feelings because I'm so consumed with mines. Sometimes I have to tune her out because her anger is too much for me to bear.....Anyway, I am having one of those moments where I don't want to be bothered. I wish I could be somewhere by myself for these next two days.
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