I'm home with my boys and I've built as many legos as I can but still can't get away from the blahs, I have to file a temporary order tomorrow and am not looking forward to it but it has to be done. I have to find daycare now in the next 3 days and I'm having second thoughts about being with my boyfriend any more - he's not falling in love with me and can't go on knowing I'll eventually get hurt. I just am wanting to focus on me right now and I'm a constant avoider. I look for other things to make me happy for the time being instead of facing what I need to do and accomplish. I have no energy to play any more today and the kids are getting restless - it's raining out, yuk. Guess I'm venting and whining but boy do I feel down. When will this feeling ever go away so I can get back to the happier me. When will I be happy around my boys and have the energy to do stuff with them?
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