Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,907 Members
100,064 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

WTF Can it get any worse

deleted_user
deleted_user
For those of you who dont know my situation. My stbx left me four months ago. I raised one of my daughters from her previous relationship since she was 1 she is now 6. We have a daughter who is two together. Over thanksgiving Alexis(6yr old) told me she was scared she didnt want another Daddy. She has been really sick so i sent an email asking how she was. Reply was fine. i asked my stbx if i was going to see Alexis this weekend. Her reply was no, Alexis doesnt want to come to my house nor see me. She said she wont give any reason. I have always treated her like my own. I am lost for words. Im in so much pain i dont know what to do. If anyone has gone through this and has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated. Sorry this is so long. For the record i dont discipline her nor yell at her so i have no idea where this is coming from. Thanks.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Even though you love your daughters to end, do you ever have thoughts that it might be easier to just not see them? Perhaps a little one is going through that, because it's too painful to continuously say hello and goodbye.

Kids love structure and routine. Somehow, despite your absence, you need to create that. Also continuously reinforce your concern and love for them; that you will always be around. Many children are frightened by horror stories of their classmates' whose dad has disappeared and they never see them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm afraid that your stbx may have the infulence and as this is not your biological child there really is nothing you can do about it! I am sorry! That may be why the child is sick! Bless her heart and bless yours, I know you are hurting... and I cannot stand for people to use their children as tools of pain! My neice just informed me that her and her husband have filed for divorce. Her husband is a good man.. He married my neice shortly after her daughter was born, she was still an infant, they have been married for 9 years. She is using her daughter to hurt him. I told her that it was not fair to the child. She calls him daddy and he is the only father she has ever known. Now I am not allowed to see her either! My neice said I would let her "father" see her if she was with me.. you know she is probably right! I will pray for you! It is cruel!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Both the kids from my Marriage are mine, so I can't totally relate on that level. But frankly it sounds to me no only are you a good Daddy, but Alexis views you as such.

Depending on how your state views it will determine what your legal rights are. Unfortunetly not being her biological Father can make it diffacult.

Whatever the LEGAL, doesn't matter you love her as your own child and I'm sorry you have to endure a cold hearted b@$% of a stbx that does not care how you feel.

I hope you may you find justice here and get custody rights.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow Maui, that's horrible. I don't know all the details but I can't imagine not being able to see a child I raised, just because she wasn't mine by blood. For your stbx to keep her away must be heartwrenching. Unless you adopted her, there isn't much you can do about visitation legally.

I don't know if you are on civil terms w/your STBX, but I'd write her a letter/email explaining how strongly you feel about seeing both of your daughter. Make sure to only speak about the girls and be positive. It would take a truly heartless soul to not see what she would be doing to her daughter by not letting her see her daddy.

Huge hugs man.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    2632
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...