I had better job than 1st wife. I collected from her for 9 years.

Read your profile before I answered. If you were a woman there would be no question..so why not??

you were the breadwinner and still collected? that does not sound right but good for you!

over 10 years is 'long term' and the one who makes more may had to pay the one who makes less, for a period of time, as to keep up the same lifestyle as was enjoyed during the marriage

do what you feel comfortable with, you have to live with your choice either way. Them rules are them rules.

I guess it depends on the circumstances. In ours, she chose to leave and my only request was that we do our best to NOT have financial ties. I make more and took the debt. She made less but left debt free. Without all the money changing hands, I think we're less likely to fight or turn this into a custody battle eventually.

do it, K-Fed, do it!

seriously though, get yours.

I was the breadwinner in the family. Now I'm on disability. I waived spousal support from my STBX because if I ever get back into the workforce, I stand to make more than what my STBX presently makes, and his lawyer told me that should this happen, they'll go after ME for spousal support. I'll be darned if I pay him any spousal support. I've already paid enough of OUR bills. So the bottom line is...all is fair in love and war and divorce...:(

I'm not a man and do not live in an Alimony state, however, I do not see a problem with it! My brother put his x through college with the understanding that when she completed she would put him through. She kicked him out the day she graduated and he didn't get his education nor even to see her graduate. Yea,, I think it would be fair!

Thats a tough question! I get my son when he starts high school and I've pondered the same thing as well. I doubt I will ask for support though!

My stbx has already told me that he wants a settlement from me when we are divorced. And I haven't worked in the year since we moved up here to follow his career!

When we got together 11 years ago, I had the assets, he had piles of debt. I paid all the bills while he paid off his credit cards with his income - took him 9 years to pay them off.

In the meantime, he never saved a dime so the only money we had in the bank was what I put away from my income over the years and my inheritance from when my mother died.

That's tricky. I really don't have an opinion on that one. I guess it's a "everyone has do make their own mind up" on that one.
Would I ask for spousal if I needed it? Hell yes!
Comes down to how you'd feel about the situation/yourself!

Of course you should get spousal support.

My stbx currently earns 4 times what I made in 2007 (don't you love real estate?). She is paying me alimony and child support (joint custody). Pride? Wrong question. Providing a great home and food for our son? Highest priority. Framed that way, she eagerly agreed to pay up. Without that money he would sleep in cardboard boxes at night. It is not her money anyway. Even though you may be divorced, it is FAMILY money. If you don't need it to provide for yourself or other family members, decide if you want her to 'pay' for the heartbreak or if one of your values is forgiveness, then refuse it. I am taking it because I need it to pay rent and the car payment. When I earn more than I need to live, I will still take the money (as mandated by the court) but I will set up a 509k (or whatever it is) for our son to go to college. Less tax, of course.
Make a plan. You decide, within your values.

I've been on all sides of this fence. Since straddling it hurts...I'll speak freely and honestly. Do you "need" it? I was married to my former husband (not current ex) over 25 yrs and was legally entitled to many things that I did NOT take...because I didn't NEED them. Our Child was grown and married himself by that point. NOW all these years later, as my son was going through his divorce..his father took him off to the side and pointed out "your mother could have taken quite a bit and she didn't, so before you cave into your gold digger think about this".

NOT being classified as a Gold Digger...priceless!

I am currently paying spousal support to my ex. I personally do not feel like I should have to. Legally, I am obligated. Morally, she should be paying me.