How can I not know what I want. How can I one moment want him to walk through the door. Tell me his sorry, want to come back, and that he loves me. And the next moment I hate him and I pray he loses everything, and I want him to leave me alone so I can get over it and heal. Oh, so badly I want him here and at the same time, How could I even want to try, how could I ever even trust. I even was it idiot today and had our daughter call him and leave a message"Why are you doing this to my mom" and she looks at me and says he out of her heart don't let him back. How do I let him out of my heart?
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