time, the counseling, the healing will help.
I believe in love. life is a journey. yes i will love again

I hope not. There are other things in life I want to do other than get back on that merry go round. It made me sick enough this time...that I think I can let it go.

One of the things thats really bothering me is celibacy.
I have never gone this long(a year)without a lady in my life and I am not the one night stand kind of guy.
I have a high sex drive and really miss the love and intimacy in a relationship.
My therapist feels that I will feel much better in another year but that seems so long and the thought of long term celibacy is very depressing which I am already dealing with...Argghhh I hate all this, why couldn't she have just loved me like I loved her??????????

I am already in love again, and I thought there was no way in hell I could be this stupid again. But I found my soul mate this time, time will tell the result

I'd say no at this moment. The person who was supposed to be my best friend/soul mate for almost 16 years turned into stranger. I don't know how I could find Mr. Right. The thought of being along for the rest of my life scares me to death too.

I hope so but will cross that bridge when I come to it. I just don't know if I want to but I won't close myself off to that possibility.

I was married twice. I gave it my all and was faithful to both.

I have adjusted to being alone and its not so bad. If its Gods will I can stay single till death do I part...lol.

Yes, if I fall in love I will try again. At my age and income level I could not afford the financial pain of divorce again though. I do not want to be an old man and homeless. Ex's and divorce lawyers have no soul I have found out.

Once I start to date I will have boundaries that are met before any involvment.

1. She will NOT be needy.
2. She will NOT be an alcoholic.
3. She will have worked for her own money and be as well off or better finacially than me.
4. She will NOT be a woman that drug her ex through the coals, or is so liberated to point of being obnoxious. I would much rather grow old laying on couch watching TV with my dog and cat and grand kids when they are over.

So, set some boundaries, and find someone to love if you are so inclined. Just protect yourself because I know one thing for sure...they do.

~Good Luck.

I too am struggling with this. I have huge trust issues, that I'm just not getting over at this point. The WAY my ex cheated on me put a large dent in my sexuality/sensuality. Somehow I feel this is going to take some time and great effort to overcome. Right now I'm just trying to heal from the whole mess.

I'm actually over HIM, what he did to me however is what I struggle with.

Nope, I will never allow my wall to be broken down again. I trusted someone who promised me that he was not like everyone else and that he would never hurt me, I let my wall down for him and I am left with picking up all the pieces as he moves on. So NO, I will accept that I will grow old alone because that pain is a lot easier to deal with then another broken heart! Being in love is not worth the pain it causes in the end. Never will I allow myself to love anyone again.

yes, I definitely want to...hope sooner than later. Would like someone who understands unconditional love, and who brings out the best in me. I'm just a simple, silly person and I want someone to laugh with for the rest of my life!. Someone once said, "opposites attract, but alikes stay together".

You can love and trust again...just more guarded in your decisions.

I don't know, really. Right now I can't picture getting involved with anyone again, because it's still too soon. But I suspect that at some point I will.

I just need to pay attention to the little red flags in the future.

I too am in the same boat with you, been married twice. I took a long time off from woman. Focused on my son, now starting to move forward again with me. I am cautious and fearful, but isn't that what is life about. I was brought up on the phrase, try, try again! A good friend also told me the old phrase, practice makes perfect, he has been married 3 times. So there is hope for us out there, we just have to becareful but don't be afraid to try.

I believe anything is possible, but this time around I realize I need to avoid needy people. In that process, I needy to stop being a needy person myself as that will turn off the kind of guy I really want to meet.
I also will become more self-reliant. I learned from my mom that it is bad for a woman to be too independent. Well, I am beginning to think that she was wrong.
Maybe it is okay to seek a relationship in which two independent people are together, with a little give and take and not so much imbalance.
The STBX is an alcoholic and will always be needy. Having someone depend on you is not the answer, at least not for me.

Yes. I will give love another chance. But not for a long, long time. I need to heal myself first and learn from this relationship. But in my heart, I know that I have tremendous love to offer someone -- but it has to be the right person this time. In the meantime, my huge heart will all go towards my children and volunteering.