
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It would have been better if I had started counseling before the divorce so that I could handle the pre-divorce anxiety better. If I had, I'd feel better now about the breakdown of the marriage.
The problem I had, was that I thought she needed counseling more than I. After counseling, I still think that is true. However, I should have had counseling for myself to better myself as best I could. Now it seems that I'm bettering myself only for myself. It feels a little selfish and causes a little guilt.
I think what you said is understandable.
We have behavior patterns we have learned over the years. And many times we talk ourselves out of even having a conversation because we've already had the conversation with our spouse in our heads.
That's why some sort of counseling is good. If there is a disinterested third party that can act as referee, then we get to break the usual arguments and negative conversations we're used to.
Doing whatever it Takes to maintain sanity. It isn't easy, but it IS building strength and More Character :-/
I just gave myself a time frame and one night after we went to a work function for him, I told him in the car on the way home because I knew he would have had a couple glasses of wine and would be a little mellower and I had to drive him home so he could leave his car there.
I did go to counselling on my own. We had gone together last year but the counselling for me really made me see that it's not all my fault and he helped me to work through the blame game that was going to be pushed my way.
By getting equipped with information and the support of both my counsellor and my family, I was able to handle the situation much better.
My stbx is normally a guy who thinks that he is better than me but his attitude changed when he realized how much I had thought it out and did my research before approaching the separation. It made him realize that I'm not just a "trophy" dumb blonde wife.
I hope this helps even a little!
1) I couldn't afford it
2) I love my wife
3) the children, and the sanctity of marriage
4) I am a sucker
5) i have no self respect
6) I do not want to pay alimony
7) I do not want to pay child support( not saying i won't, but why should i, they can live with me)
8) i have no self respect.. oh wait did i say that already, just re itterating the fact