Hi Kelly, My children ae in their 20s but I feel the same as you. In fact I counld have written the exact words. Not sure how you stop thinking about them, I still do after a year. The answer is keep busy, try and keep you mind focused on the good things that you and your daughter share. You are the good people, you are both much better than them. I knows its difficult but try. If you are busy you do not have time to think about them.

everybody keeps telling me it will all come out and if its in their character then it will come out again and again for their future lives. you will be healthy and released from the chaos that could of been your life for so many more years. there are some great books to read. i have five i am working on now. it gives me info and of course there is always something to read.

I am also in the same boat. It really hurts we were together for 18 years. I don't think they love the other person and someday they will find that out. We don't need someone like that anyway. Take care

I wonder the same thing about my stbx. My guess is that at least we can die with our dignity some day.

Start by living YOUR life. He chose to no longer be part of the wonderful life that you are building with your daughter and that is his loss. One day at a time, just move on. Easy to say, harder to do but possible. My stbx left in May, got his girlfriend pregnant before ending it with me and now I am moving on. When I think of them I ask myself do I really want someone like that in my life and the lives of my kids? The answer is always NO! Take care, Beth

"Love" does not take its happiness on the rubble of the home of a 5 year old girl.

He is a cheater and she is a home-wrecking whore. They are both selfish beyond all imagining. Who cares what they think? They are psychos. I have no doubt he will regret what he has done to your daughter.

I have great difficulty not thinking about my ex and his whore. I especially get upset when I think about the times I was talking to him on the phone, and now I know she was with him. I can hear them laughing at me after he hung up. I think of the time I had my wallet stolen and called him for help, so he could call the credit card companies and cancel the cards. I'm sure they had a grand old time laughing about my misfortune.

But today I had a new thought. I filed for divorce back in December '06. I did not know about the affair until August 6th '07. I know he was planning to file after the new year. Now today I'm thinking yes, he may have eventually left me for her, but I left him for NOTHING! It takes a lot more strength and conviction to go to nothing than to go to the whore waiting in the wings, and ultimately he didn't have the balls to even do that. So he chose a woman over me, well I chose no one over him. Does that make sense? He didn't want to leave me so badly that he was willing to be alone. I wanted him out of my life badly enough to face a very scary life alone.

Lily, it makes PERFECT sense! YOU did chose SOMEONE over him... YOU chose YOU & that is the MOST IMPORTANT THING!~! :)

Correct, Lily. Yours was the truest thumbs down. Just shift your focus to why you did what you had to do, and how you wanted your life to be. He is someone who needs to drug himself, whether it be with booze or a woman. She is just a pacifier to him, like something you would stick in a baby's mouth. That is why he can put his desires on a par with the needs of a 5 year old.

If he is cheating he won't regret it until she dumps him. Then he'll probably come begging for forgiveness. 22yrs and never cheated....

I believe they do at some point. How can they be happy with someone else, if they still have issues to resolve themselves. Rebound relationships don't work. I have little respect for women that date married men, eventhough the men might tell them their sob story. One day he will wake up and realize what he did and you will be down the healing road.

My ex has been w/ his home wrecking whore for 1 1/2 yrs now, he has cheated on her (surprise, surprise) and even beaten her up! The last time they had my kids, he spit in her face in front of them. Don't waste your time, get on w/ your life, they will reap what they sew, u have to believe u and your daughter deserve better, just be glad your not either one of them.

I think of the Home Wrecker and my husband all of the time even to the point that I check his check card activity online to see where they have gone, needless to say I get angry and sad. I stopped doing that about a week ago and I do feel better about that. I keep thinking that he is a dog for cheating and she is a home wrecking whore for leaving a marriage with 2 small kids b/c of my husband. For now anger works for me. I know that I shouldn't wish bad on anyone, but it comforts me to think that if she can cheat on the father of her beautiful kids she can cheat on my husband. I want to think what comes around goes around and they both will get theirs in the end. They will both be liars and cheaters, the only thing I am guilty of is believing him for as long as I did!

I agree with LilyL 100%.

i don't know if mine ever will---but i guess thats his burden to bare. I CAN look MYSELF in the mirror...and THAT is what is important.