It will end like it began. However he met "her", that's how things are going to end for them, too.

Don't stand around waiting for the mushroom cloud though. Run away. Do not walk. Move on with your life. The more you sit around and try and analyize what he's up to or what they're doing or how much anyone means to anyone else...you're just giving him control over you.

Control he has no right to exert. The way you end that is...you stop giving him power over your life. He only has as much power over you as you give him.

Refuse to give in to that.

Replace the thoughts with something else. I know that sounds trite, but it really is the only way. It has nothing to do with you, it is about him and his selfishness. You need to put that energy into you, and your child.

I agree. The moment that you see her not with vengeful thoughts, but thoughts of pity will be when you are free. It ain't easy, but I once intercepted a phone message from my wife's OM and instead of the sexy, confident stud that I had made up in my mind, he was drunk, sad, lonely and pathetic. I wanted so bad to hate him, but God as my witness I actually felt sorry for him. On that day I grew a lot more independent. Now, why she still pines for this guy I'll never know.

He'll regret it when she hurts him...believe that!

I agree with the other adivce you have been given. Find something to focus on. Make you and your child important. The less you have him on your mind the better you will be.

There was a time in my life when I was the cheater and I can tell you from the bottom my heart, there does come a time when you are sorry.

I also have a very hard time not thinking about my stbxh and his whore. It kills me thinking that he chose her over me and our family. I know the woman, and I can't believe that anything about her is better than myself. I guess it all comes down to the fact that they tell each other exactly what they want to hear. He wines and dines her with money he doesn't have and she builds up his big ego with her lies. I hope someday they both get what they deserve, but I worry that it won't happen.

kelly, you will move through this stage or phase. It is a long and painful process, I am sorry to say. Be prepared as your emotions will switch from one extreme to another without any warning.

You may begin to question your own sanity. What you are feeling and what is yet to come is normal. We've all been there.

It hurts me to see your post because it brings back my own memories of feeling rejected. I am SO sorry for you!

Please try to force thoughts of the two of them from your mind. Try to stay busy and keep coming back to DS. As you see, there are many people here who really care!

Thanks to those of you from the other side who have the courage to give us some insight. Please don't take our rants personally. There is a lot of hurt on this site, but also an amazing amount of support!

We are all flawed human beings fumbling our way through life and it does help to hear your point of view.