Hello, I am a first time poster. Here is my story and I will try to make it short. My wife and have been married for 11.5 years and have two children 7 and 9. We have always been best of friends and she is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with and i thought she felt the same. We never really would fight and always found a way to agree on the issue. In short, it seemed like the perfect marriage and we had no issues with anything. My wife has a very demanding job which requires her to travel a lot, i would say at least 30% of the time if not more. About 6 months ago I decided to tell her how i felt about her traveling and working too much. And that i wanted to spend more time with her because life is short and I didnt want to our family to miss out on things. This did not go over very well since she loves her job. It caused a little friction, but I though I was bringing up valid points, and that our family would be better off in the long run. Life went on as normal for the most part and then a month or so later I found out I had cancer. This was devastating to me. I was shocked, depressed and very sad thinking of what will happen to my family if I were to die. I went through the chemo treatments and such and then it was time for the surgery. During the 4 months that i was feeling down It seemed that my wife did not pay much attention to my feelings from day to day or seem to really care. Maybe it was just me going through all the different emotions that comes along with having cancer,,,i dont know. I asked her several times why she acted like she didnt care and the response was always the same. "you are going to be just fine, dont worry". I know that she was trying to be positive and so was i during this time. But it just didnt feel right for some reason. I cant imagine how i would feel if the roles were reversed. I would be devastated. She never showed any emotions either way. I started to question her on her feelings about me and she would always have the same response. "Everything is going to work out". Well about 1 week prior to me going into surgery she told me she wanted out of the marriage. I was shocked, confused and depressed even more now. I have asked her several times what is going on. She says that she has NEVER been attracted to me and does not feel the passion in our relationship. I am very confused on all of this since we have been together for 14 years or so. How did we get this far along in our relationship if she NEVER felt any of this. How did we even end up together? Anyways, I have tried to talk her out of it and told her I would do ANYTHING to try and save our marriage. She says there is no hope and its over. This would make a lot more since if we had issues, but we never have. THere has been some bedroom issues in the past where things were very dull for a few years. This i thought was due to our hectic life style, kids sleeping with us when they were younger and just not having enough time for each other. I was kinda ok with the situation, just thought it was part of life and we would eventually figure it out again. And I thought she was ok with this also since it was never a sore subject with us. We just chalked it up as being too busy with life. I know that isnt healthy in a relationship, but we both seemed to be on the same page with it and knew that brighter days were coming. So now I am half way through my treatments and she is planning for the divorce. I was hoping that if i posted i would get some feed back on the situation. I have told my story to a couple of people and they are just as confused as I am. None of it adds up, and doesnt make sense to them why should would do it now when I need her by my side to get through this difficult time. That and I am so worried for the kids, this is going to be devastating to them. We are both great parents and the last thing i want to see is them being torn up because of what my wife feels is right. I guess when i took the vows for marriage i meant them. For better or worse not matter what. I would think she would at least seek some professional help before making her decision, it just seems so radical. Anyways feel free to ask questions or respond and give me your view point. I know not everything is covered here in the post but it gives a pretty good idea of what is going on.
Thanks in advance!
Thanks in advance!
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