Why is it I have been on this site for less than a week and people here are so kind to me and tell me that they can tell I am a good person. They say such kind word, that I am sweet, kind, etc. And the one I loved with my entire being saw me as something totally different. I have never had a friend, stranger, family, my first ex, or ANYONE to say the horrible hateful things that he says about me. I've told him that before and asked how he could see me as totally different and I loved him so much. He'd reply, oh its because they are afraid to tell you, you intimidate them. He has damaged me. I feel like a big ole bundle of damaged goods!! I really was sweet to him and loved the ground he walked on. Yes, I lashed back when he would tear me down and put my parenting skills down, tell me my body disgust him, that I was a dumb country bumpkin, that I was only successful because I impressed someone with my southern charm, etc. You know all the things he put me down about......he was not to good at. He was always pointing the finger. Sorry....I just get going. So why does he refuse to see me as others do?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??