I completely understand where you are at cuz I'm there as well. The thing that bothers me the most is how uncomfortable I feel in this place I'm at right now. I have a male friend and we have had drinks together since I moved out, but for some reason, I just feel really awkward around him now that I'm separated. Maybe it's just too much too soon.

I hope that eventually I will feel good about male companionship and I wish the same for you. I think we all want and need to be cherished. We just need to find healthy people and surround ourselves with them.

You're right. It is an uncomfortable feeling, but so is an interview for your dream job!! No reason to give up because of a little discomfort, right?

Maybe we should look at dating like an interview?!? Hmm-let me give this some more thought.

Don't want to give up, just want to hurry along the whole healing process a bit you know? I'll get there one day. In the meantime I plan to work on me some more.

May I also suggest that if you want to do a "platonic" date, why not take your OWN car & meet at a public place? I think this will also help in the "ackwardness" of it all. Then when you are ready to leave, you can thank him for the wonderful evening & go about your seperate ways to YOUR car & YOUR home :)

Platonic date or not, meeting at a public location and having the option to leave when you want is the only way to go for the first 2-3 dates. It is not only the smart thing to do, but the safe thing as well. You never know what you are walking in to!

There is nothing wrong with fulfilling that need. I hope this guy is a good guy and won't take advantage of you in this time of weakness. That is the only danger in having platonic friends during this process. Good luck and I know you will make the best decision.

I am still wondering about this desire to date. Does the divorce get put on the back burner? Is this divrce hurting you? Are your emotions in order? If you keep wondering about your beauty, Damn girl look in a friggin mirror. You are a gorgeous young lady. But my concerns are your thoughts on the divorce?

Hi pinkarh..I agree with some of the advice here to you..Just food for thought a "platonic" relationship is almost always in the control of the woman..and if you KNOW that is all it is ever going to be I say ok.Make absolutely SURE he knows this..Relationships start innocently enough..the fun factor,laughing ..escaping from your real life..kids,job etc..it is a huge tempation to indulge in this..Yes..this is the situation in which my wife started an affair with a male friend..I am just saying it can be a slippery slope and if you are vunerable prob not a great idea..But if your single..seperated..ready for this then You know YOU the best..Good luck to you..Paul

pinkarh...Some women are like monkeys. They wont let go of one branch till they have hold of another. Learn to like yourself. Then someday you will know what it means to love a person.

Zoot!

Always quick with a generalization and no heart! No fair.

Pink,

Before you try to find others, make sure you're okay first. Don't go looking for validation in others. It won't work. Find those things in yourself first.
Then, and only then, go out looking for dates. In trees.

I'm so confused.

Pasta, my man, that was pretty cool. Can I add you to my friends list?...lol.

I waited to date until just before I was divorced - after a 5 year separation. However, without really thinking about it, I started dating a guy who had only been separated a few months. We've been dating for 5 months and it's been great - we're very compatible in many, many ways. The conversations we have are awesome - we sometimes talk for 4 hours on the phone. I can't even believe how we've connected. But...... now that he's dealing with the finality of his divorce and dissolution of their joint property, he's feeling very conflicted. She left him for an affair, but now he's wondering if he should consider asking her to try to work it out. I am supportive of this, because he MUST know or he will always wonder. However, I should have remembered how difficult it was to get through that period myself. In case you were wondering what my point is, it is this - this is a very confusing, conflicting time. It is easy to be attracted to someone to just make the pain and loss go away. Be very careful. I don't know how my story will end, but, even though I know I will never regret having known this man (he brought many positive changes to my life), I may always wonder if it would have worked if we had waited. Good luck!