i guess no1 understnds or cares the pain is undescribable i have lost the love of my life,my best friend,everything

When my ex left at the surprise of everyone, including herself, many people were saying, she met another guy, she is cheating, etc. I didnt believe them. I NEVER thought she would even look at another guy. Even when she went away "for a few days" to her sisters, she pledged her love to me and future to us.

But within a matter of two days things took a 180 degree turn from going away on vacation and planning on future, to her never coming back. She didnt want to talk about it or to me, or anything. But I still defended that there was no way there was another guy.

Months later I found out there was. Two weeks before she "went away for a few days" her sister gave some guy her number that saw my ex one night at her sisters house. 2 weeks later she is gone.

So I would put my money on that. It isnt you, it is his selfishness most likely to want to be with someone else as well.

i see where u r coming from but i kno 4 a fact that there is no1 else involved...he spent all his time with me and his family said there is no1 else ..all he wnted to do was b with me...i dont understnbd...do u have any advice on what i can do...he wont answer my calls and i kno he woint call me i miss him lik crazy

her and I spetn every waking moment together until the day she left. Why I am everyone else was shocked, including her family. I said the same thing. But again, I am not trying to convince you jsut open up the possibility it might be.

You have tried to call him, maybe send him a text or email and he isnt responding. So I would stop contacting him. A lady friend told me that I need to not contact her, dont let her know she gets to me. If she does, she will keep it up. Take away her power by not contacting her. Not emailing her and not answering her calls or emails immediately when she contacts you.

She suggested when she calls and if I answer it, turn up the music before you answer the phone, pretend like there are people over, etc. This did work ... she was out having fun with some married guy, but she didnt like I was having friends over for dinner, or there was a girl over at the apt. there really wasnt a girl, I just asked her to hold once when she was on the phone, muzzled it and pretended I was talking to someone. That was all it took.

She said no silly love songs, dont make a mix tape or anything. :)

Show her the same respect she shows you. You need to have respect for yourself through this.

If you have laid your feelings out there, you ahve done what you can. You now need to quit expecting to hear from him, try not to contact him as it will only make it worse for you really.

If you have any friends, try to go over to their house even if not to talk about it, but to just be around people. While I sat at some peoples place I knew, my mind was on her, but I was out of the house and was able to get a chuckle in here or there as the kids did something stoopid or whatever.

My dog helped a lot as I started to spend time with her more. Maybe get yourself a pet, that will help with the loneliness some times.

i kno u r rite...i try but its lik i cant do it...i just need to hear from him, we wer always together,until friday as i said,everything to nothing is so hard,i mean y wont he evn tlk to me agn

i kno he wont call me ,he kept syn it was over he didnt love me .But how?...how could anybody do that?!i dont believe him completely,if he didnt love me he wudnt have said it 4so long everyday,he wudnt have done the things he did 4me,he was so gud to me

this is why it is harder,ther eis no reason 4what he is doing,and the fact he is basically saying the whole relationship was a lie on his part it hurts lik hell

i know i cannot just never see him again i need to evn if just friends.it was so random he jus said he didnt love me after tellin me he did.

Surely he cant just erase me from his life completely?

OK i NEED to know what i can do..i love this guy so much and i cnt just block him out of my life how can i get him back...to at least tlkin to me agn

anyone?

has no1 been where i am now?...i need help tht is y i am hre

we here do understand. It is so cruel to tell another that you "never loved them". This stage you are in is the hardest. Even though you think you will not stop crying, i assure you as I go into my third month that you will. Be kind to yourself right now and seek help and support from family friends and us here at ds.

Sounds like you are hurting dn you just want him back. I don't know that anyone here can give advice on how to get someone back. You have to let go if they want to leave. You can't make them stay. f he comes back, it will be because he wants ot, not because yu did some particular thing or said some particular thing. I am sorry I wasn't ehre for you last night, altho yu probably don't really want to hear me say to let him go. But I have no advice whatsever as to how to make someone stay whe they want to elave. You will hurt. You will get better. That's what I do know.

ur rite of course i dnt wnt to let go...it jus hurts lik hell like there is nothing in this world that will hurt me anymore and nothing that will take it away i realli cnt bear the pain...or the thought not seeing him ever agn

i feel pathetic,feelin so much for him wen he is hurtin me so much but i cnt hlp the way i feel if i could turn it off i would

I have been there, just signed off for a bit. I also need to get for a few hours, so wont be back until later on...

but basically, it is hard. When you see someone everyday, they become very important in your life. For me, we were best friends too. So I also lost my best friend. Everything we did together, I now have to do alone. At first, even when I went to the Gas station, I would see her walking out with drinks as we didn so often. It was mainly by habit all these things. but it wasnt making it easier, nor did I feel better.

But he is at least being straight out with you that it is over. Many people, including myself, never even got that. You can sit and wonder what happened, why was he so good to me and it stopped all of the sudden? How can people do this to someone so quickly, so relentless and not even a little bit of respect for all you have been through with them

I thnk a lot of people have gone through this and there is never an answer except what we see physically from them. In time, it will come to you as to what happened. many people see the signs as time goes on as to things that were right there. I didnt see it, and still dont. It was just as random as can be for me as well.

If he wont talk to you about it, then he is hiding something, or he just doesnt want to deal with it. Some feel not dealing with it, will make the other person go away. It is a cowards way out, but many do it.

Sounds like he is being selfish right now and has found something he thinks is better and can replace what you's had.

but i cnt let go,my feelingsd r too strong and myb i am too weak, my mum sys i need to strt lookin after myslf but i dnt kno how,HE was wat made me happy all this time He made me feel gud about myslf
now i feel worthles
am i not gud enuf for him to love me?

i just wish it wud all go away im fed up of cryn all day tho i cnt hold it in

by the way, I didnt know why she left, I spent a lot of time/months going over what could I have seen, what was I missing, what could I have done better? I was drawing blanks, blaiming myself for the unknown, and trying so hard to see something. I went many months after she left with her lying to me about her "friend" the "next door neighbor" who just happened to hang at her sisters house next door while his wife was at home. It was when her sister finally fessed up to me what was going on is when I saw a few things.

What I saw was:

- she was with someone older (married)
- she chucked all responsibilities and previous life and friends
- she was drinking a lot
- she found someone with a house, jacuzzi, and pool in the backyard
- she found someone with a business, rather then a job
- she was not the person I knew for 7 years, but was who he was.
- she found someone who never made her look at herself
- she found someone to persuade her that leaving her whole life behind including her career, was best for her
- someone I never knew and wouldnt want to be with.

So seeing these things finally a few months later, really hit me and realized there was nothing I did or could have done. I didnt miss anything. It wasnt me, it was on her to be faithful and work at having fun with our relationship, not chucking it for fun with some married guy she just met and cared more about then me.

it only seems like he was what made you happy as you have been with him so long, that being happy, wsa being with him. Try to revisit some things you like to do. Maybe bike riding, reading, etc. It isnt going to be easy and all get better right away.

But these are some things you can try to to deter the crying, deter your brain from thinking about him and to keep your idle hangs busy.