Tell me if you think this is wrong... I've been in a downward spiral with my boyfriend for the last... almost 3 months now. We've been breaking up and making up, over and over. This last week, he said he wanted to work things out for good and I believed him. I let him come back home. I told him I wasn't interested in sex, because my head and my heart weren't there. I didn't feel like opening that part of myself back up if this was just going to go back to the way things were. Wednesday night, he "accidentally" slipped his fingers into my shorts, and i jumped and asked him to stop. He said it was an accident.
Thursday morning, I hadn't even woken up and he grabbed my hand, moaned, said "feel how much I've missed you," and put my hand on his crotch. Again, I jumped and I got really upset this time. He said he was sorry, but then he said "if you were more willing, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to force you."
I kicked him out. I've never felt so violated, so disgusted... He says I'm bipolar (I'm not), and that I need to grow up. I told him consent is consent, and no means no. He said I'm playing the victim again. He has gaslighted me before, making me feel so crazy to the point where I started going to therapy. But now I'm confused... Was this wrong, or am I really just crazy?
I am at a better place with my ex and his wife than I have ever been. I can actually have a conversation with him on the phone and keep my cool. When either one of them does something annoying I just do an eyeroll, chalk it up to them being them, and move on with my life. What I'm struggling with is the double identity crisis. Years ago I went to going away party for my mother when she...
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...