Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I finally did it. I finally filed for divorce. Seperated since May, and I finally did it.
We were trying to be open, honest, and transparent. At least I was. I sent him some of my most open and honest communication in 5 months. What does he do? He goes to my parents, looking for advice, things get all mixed up. My mother comes back to me asking me if 1) I am having an affair with my best friend and 2) if I abhor sex. I am not sure how I can do both of those things, but apparently I can. I confront him, and all he does is make excuses. He has not even bothered to tell me his version of what he told my parents. Which I have asked him to do multiple times. How am I supposed to trust him to tell me the truth about his addictions, if this is what he does the first time that I try to be transparent with him about myself and some of the things that I have been trying to deal with over the last 5 months????
And for clarification... no, I have not been having an affair and no I do not abhor sex. Tempting to have an affair just to prove I dont abhor sex... but not going there.
We were trying to be open, honest, and transparent. At least I was. I sent him some of my most open and honest communication in 5 months. What does he do? He goes to my parents, looking for advice, things get all mixed up. My mother comes back to me asking me if 1) I am having an affair with my best friend and 2) if I abhor sex. I am not sure how I can do both of those things, but apparently I can. I confront him, and all he does is make excuses. He has not even bothered to tell me his version of what he told my parents. Which I have asked him to do multiple times. How am I supposed to trust him to tell me the truth about his addictions, if this is what he does the first time that I try to be transparent with him about myself and some of the things that I have been trying to deal with over the last 5 months????
And for clarification... no, I have not been having an affair and no I do not abhor sex. Tempting to have an affair just to prove I dont abhor sex... but not going there.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Do not throw your pearls before swine.
You are the sane one my dear friend. I think if I were you, I would sit down with my folks and have a serious heart to heart. Come on! It's not about choosing side but a little support here would sure be nice!
Do your parents not see the contridiction in the facts he laid out to them. He thinks you are having an affair with your best friend. But you abhor sex. Wouldn't the affair entail sex?
On a lighter note, if you were having sex I think a good majority of us would be jealous and want details. You abhoring sex freak. (joking around, don't get mad)
My mother is trying very hard not to take sides. She has said if she does though it will be with me. My family sees what a manipulating control freak he is. They saw it before I did. They have given me their support for working it out, but are also going to totally support my divorce.
He sent me an e-mail after I told him I wanted a divorce. He said he was very dissappointed that I had chosen this course of action. He basically laid all the problems at my feet. The failed marriage will be all my fault. Knowing him the way I do, I saw it coming, but it still put me in tears. I cried for at least an hour yesterday.
My STBX and I figured out that marriage between us is not for us. It is the right decision but it still hurts knowing that it's over.
At the same time I will use this as a lesson learned and begin the rest of my life, which will be very happy.
My hubby went to my family with a story. It was funny to me. My family knows better than to question my choices. They told me what he said. I didn't give a damn. I had made up my mind. I don't pull the covers back from my life and leave it open to scrutiny and unwarranted advice.