A very lonely and insecure person does that type of thing.. she needs the attention that lose behaviour will attract.

Keep close to your kids... you can always hire a private investigator and use any evidence you get against her.

I am thinking about doing that. But they are very expensive.

Allen, there are some things that well, are irrelevant. Courts do NOT care if a spouse had an affair or who they have sex with. What they DO care about is the behavior of the parents in front of the minor children. Those are about the only things you can bring before the courts. As for what she does on the internet...difficult to prove and irrelevant. I'm NOT siding with her..please don't think I am.

I've heard people use both the argument of "sex" in the same house as child and alcohol consumption. So lets look at this realistically, is she becoming inebriated, or just having a glass of wine. If outright drunkedness is involved..we you most certainly should bring this to the attention of the courts.

Sex on the other hand...well unless she's doing it in front of your child, or if you have a "no conjugal cohabitation when the minor child is present" put in your divorce, you'll have to think about this with a slightly "broader" view.

Suppose she gets remarried someday, is her new husband not supposed to sleep with her? Also examine why you are upset..is it that she is sleeping with someone else or just not you?

BEFORE you get angry at me...attorneys ask these questions all the time and I'm not really asking, expecting an answer...just think a little bit.

I heard you had to have "proof" to use infidelity. I'm sorry Allenb, it really is sad! :( I don't know why some people do the things they do!

Not a very nice person...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm in the same boat almost to the letter. My husband got very heavy into porn and joined the swinging commnuity then he took up with some woman. He started drinking then set me up (kept hurting my feelings with evidence of the affair) until I kicked him out. Now my son tells me he witness daddy masterbating to porn. Then in the first weeks of our separation my kids would come home from visiting daddy talking about NARDA? Not a common name for an imaginary friend. My lawyer told me that in my state I have to prove my husband a very unfit father before they will limit his custody. So he can sleep with this woman on visitation, drink infront of the kids, look a porn and its all OK. I think it's terrible that the burden of proof is on Me. So I would have to hire a PI or plant recording devices on my kids. Do I want to limit my kids interaction with their selfish daddy. YES. Do I think he is capable of putting the kids frist. NO.

The reason that proof is needed, is could you just imagine the disaster of allegations the courts would find themselves mired in if there were no requirement of proof.

Well, you'll have to get a lawyer unless you want to be at her whim with regard to your son.

You can have 'no opposite sex sleepovers' but into your custody agreement (unless of course married), and I do think a judge would take an interest in a mother who sends her nude pic over the internet as that will be a source of shame and ridicule to the child in the future, and could be considered pornography.

I do wish courts would take moral turpitude into account where children are concerned. It is in their best interest.

How important infedelity, alcohol use, naked pictures on the internet, etc. depends a lot on where you live and the atmoshpere of the courts. A Lawyer should be able to give you some insight into how helpful, or not, that stuff can be.

You should have to prove adultry..or anything else for that matter. What consitutes proof also varies.

No one should get a Divorce without even consulting a lawyer. At least talk to one..and get pointed in the right direction.

I have proof in black and white!

Why are some men jerks?

It's not just women that do this my husband is trying to use our son as a weapon to hurt me and he dosen't care if he hurts our son to hurt me. My sons was visting with his dad and came home saying he had been outside with his 18 yearold brother while he was fireing off his hand gun, my son is 3