I hear you and feel your pain this last month I have been getting f874ed over by two of my ex's It's a long story but you can read it in my journals if your intrested. I just don't think i can ever trust another man again. Some of my best friends have been guys and if we ever hooked up i ended up hurt and then I didn't have that friend anymore either

I don't know. I guess disclose small things and see if they are respected. No second chances.

I have found that my Ex's way of dealing with his pain, or rather covering up that he's hurt, is hurting me more. like a macho complex issue. Like let's see how many times he can make me cry to cover up that he's hurting inside... it's sad really, but true. And I've also noticed the more I distance myself from him the bigger Jack@$$ he becomes....

I have realized lately that when I think I am opening up really I'm not becuase I am so numb inside. I am just letting the surface stuff be open. My insides are very protected right now. So I agree with Patti and don't say or do anything that lets them past the surface.

this is a very hard place to be, i also am afraid to meet men. i think it's also part of not being over the ex yet. i'm hoping soon i may be able to just go out for lunch or dinner with no expectations. it's a step in getting out a little more than i have been. just go slow and trust your instincts.

I have these fears too. I have come to one conclusion. I have to take a chance and live my life to the fullest. You can tell if they are what they are. There are signs so just be careful. I know I don't want to go through life wondering if someone is going to hurt me again. I want to take a chance bc I might miss that true love. How could I live with myself. Take your time and a good man will stay and work with you. This is one way that you can tell. Just my 2 cents

I obviously am not picking up on the "signs"... lol. Anyone care to tell me about these "signs"?

If yo're ready to start dating, then by all means go ahead and date. Just don't take it too seriously! I say you should go out with different guys and take it slow. Just have fun, nothing too serious! Over time you will be able to see what kind of men they are. If you notice things you don't like, then, cut your losses and move on.

Thank you for the comments, hugs and messages. You are all great!

I have to admit I thought this was gonna be a fruitcake post but I guess that would make us all fruitcakes. My strategy is to take my time and not allow friends influence and attempt to tell me when I should be ready. Let's all just take out time.

Any other men care to jump in on this one?

Sorry but Why do Women want to hurt me works for me.
My stbx put on a show with her bf in front of me, "our" friends, and half the town.
She is telling people she is getting so much more of the sale of the house, than me.
My gf appears to be breaking up with me (is that the word?)
I will survive and be a stronger person for it.

i HAVE BEEN RELATIONSHIP SHY SINCE MY LAST BREAKUP.
i LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANY OTHER MAN. i AM STILL FANTASYSING THAT HE WILL COME BACK

because they a maggets, swap slime scume that prey of woman and suck all the energy out of you... Ok sorry guys I had a couple of drinks and its bee a bad day

We all come here for comfort and strength and a sense of belonging again. We were stripped of companionship. We want the comfort of it the feel and touch of it and the one and one of it. We put our feeling out in this site some more then others. But in order for us to feel we have to express them and not hold them in. I am sorry for the shallowness of those men who stomp on your feelings they obviously have no regard or concern in what you are going through. We all share in the hurt some stories are so simialar that at times it even amazes me. But we are healing and we should focus on that in ourseleves before we decide to take the next step.
How do you know when you are ready? I don't quite know, I have to trust myself my inner voice to let me know that. Its like when you wake up in the morning you struggle in whether or not to get up out of bed. But you are driven to get yourself up. You will have that drive to really move on when you are ready. Trust in yourself and all that is in you. Don't comprimise for anyone else right now.