Hi I'm new...I am not sure where to start but, i felt that i needed a support group because i am afraid that i am starting to miss my soon to be ex husband. I am afraid that i will go back to him and i don't. We never abused me but instead he got too comfortable and used me. My husband is 10 yrs older than me and we have been together 11 years... out of that we have been married 2 1/2 years...lived together for 8 years... anyway the last few years i have been the major provider with benefits, money, paying bills etc...he makes less than me and lost several jobs throughout the years. My family wasn't thrilled with him because for his age he should be more of a provider...it never bothered me until he started hanging with this guy who is married with a son and the wife does everything...he doesn't work and he smokes pot. My husband used to and promised me years ago that he would stop...i found out recently that he didn't and what makes matters worse is that when we were having money issues and we needed food, etc...he said he didn;t have money and i found out that he was using it for pot and smoking in my car...he lost his car and never tried to save to get another one...he relied on me like a child relies on his mother...he would play video games all the time and never do anything unless i asked a million times...he wasn;t very affectionate and he never really contributed to the finances...i started working 3 jobs and putting all 3 paychecks toward the bills...he only gave some of this paycheck...i never knew where the rest went...he lied to me about the pot, he got into a fight with my father (they still never said what happened, just that my dad caught him in lies) and the biggest part is that i was finally going somewhere in my career and i started to want better things in life but my husband was content in how our lives were. I was the one wanting a house and better credit but he never got involved...i wanted kids but he never brought it up unless i said it...he never even proposed to me...i came home and said well we have been living together for 5 years and we going to get married...he said sure and that was that...i know that should of been a sign but i guess i figured i have been with him since i was 15 and he was my first and i am heavy set girl so i can;t get anyone else and my friends were gone because of him & his old firends(long story. I have kicked him out 3 times this year and this have been the longest...its about 2 months...i see him here and there but only at his job and only when its about taxes we owe and etc...his big problem was that everything i asked if something was wrong he would say no and then attack me verbally about everything at once when i was at my most Vulnerablest i.e if i was driving or just came home from work...he turned into someone i didn't know and to make matters worse that i can not forgive is that he called my stepmom and dad when i kicked him out and starting saying that i was fooling around and that my stepmom was a bad influence on me and etc...he never told me until the next day when my dad called and was beyond pissed. Not once did i go behind his back and start saying stuff to his family...and trust me there is a lot i can say...Anyway i guess i am venting a little too much...my problem now is that i feel like i miss him but i think its my mind going back to the beginning on how things use to be and etc... i need help...i have been very nice and cordial with him but everytime i see him he brings stuff up that has happened months...years ago...he can never deal with what the issue is now withouth bringing other things up...but i am missing him...i need advise. Sorry for the long post.
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