
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Who Are really Good Friends with Their Ex?

deleted_user
Ok... my stbx is trying so hard to be my friend... if you read my journals you will see it is too hard for me... but I have seen other EXs really get along.
Now I realize a good number of those people who are getting along now have been divorce a long time and each as another significant other..
So... tell me your experience...
How many of you are real friends with your STBX or EX?
How were you able to accomplish it (those of you who originally didn't want out of the relationship)?
As always.. Thanks for your feedback and response.
Chris
Now I realize a good number of those people who are getting along now have been divorce a long time and each as another significant other..
So... tell me your experience...
How many of you are real friends with your STBX or EX?
How were you able to accomplish it (those of you who originally didn't want out of the relationship)?
As always.. Thanks for your feedback and response.
Chris
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The 2 relationships that I didn't want to end the most have resulted in the best friendships out of any of them. The first was a guy I dated in High School for 2 years and we were great together, all our friends still think we should get back together. The second was the first guy I dated in college. The second one was the hardest to get back to a friendship and maintain it, I lived with him, we were together every single day for geez, I don't even know how long because we were on and off for so long.
But in both cases it was so difficult, because even after we broke up, we had to see each other every day, our classes brought us together. I cried in every class meeting that we shared....which in high school was everyday, thankfully, in college it was only every other day (Not that that kept me from crying in between).
But it was hard. And in each case, we kinda wound up falling back into the old routine, which only caused me to get hurt all over again when it came time to call it quits again.
I still think about that last one all the time. He's always on my mind. I was just so close to him and his family. I think it's harder to completely cut someone out of your life that knows so much about you, unless there is an absolute good reason. But I mean, if you didn't want out of the relationship in the first place, then it's really really difficult to let it go.
The easiest thing for me was to just do whatever I felt like. I made it clear to them that while I understood that there had to be boundaries on affection and all of that, that I would still continue to show them the same amount of affection that I would to any of my guy friends. (I kiss them all on the cheek and insist on hugs before parting.) I always make my feelings very clear to them. I don't know. I've used several different tactics, if any of this is helpful, or you'd like to know more about my experience with it, just message me, I think this has gotten long enough!!!!
My recent ex, well we have nothing to keep any line of communication open for. In fact there isn't a single thing I have to say to him.
We are making jokes, my seizures have improved(the weight of the world was lifted when he said he agreed and the stress went away) and above all we have been adult enough to say hey you're a good person, I'm a good person, I love to hang with you but we were not meant to be married. Not sure what else to say, we just admitted that while we made great friends we made a living hell of a marriage, we both want the other to be happy and we'll be there for the other always. STBX even said if in 10yrs we are still both single we should have a kid together, lol. The truth will set you free, now that I don't have to pretend, I am just over the moon I can enjoy a movie with him and all is good.
Now he is calling, sometimes several times a day. Sometimes it is Valid and Business Related...Mostly it is NOT.
He comes from a family that does Friendly Divorces and remains lifetime friends.
I know that this man plays mind games. I have 22 years of experience with it. I am trying to walk a tight rope between caution-waiting for that axe to drop and find out What he is Looking For...and just plain feeling Sorry for Him.
He left. He has made his choices and chased his dreams. Now it is my turn.
I am more willing to keep it Friendly...but it is because I can't stand to live with the Hate and Bitterness. That just doesn't suit me.
Long answer for a short question, but nothing is simple.
Now the 2nd stbx is a total different story!
Solely in my opinion as I squeaked clean during the marriage and through the divorce.
Everyone saw who she was.
A liar and a cheat, and a story teller.
So, I cannot be around her physically at all, whatsoever in limited fashion. All brought on by her doing. Buh Bye.
There are certain subjects we avoid, and neither of us are in a relationship right now, I'm sure things will change if we do find others. He was mad when he knew I was meeting someone for a beer...
Hey, one man's trash is another man's treasure!!!
My daughter and I nearly have panic attacks thinking about running into him or him and the OW (family member). He was emotionally abusive to my daughter to the point where she considered suicide.
Friends, I don't think so.