Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Where's in hidden camera???

deleted_user
deleted_user
This is candid camera isn't it?
My STBX gets mad when I sleep in the bed and gets mad when I don't.(can't afford to move out and to tall for the couch.)
She gets mad when I don't help the kids with the homework and gets mad when I do.
She always wanted me to go do grocrey shopping with her and now she says that I had to go with her so she didn't buy needless things because i'm cheap. On top of that, I have been spending $100 every week since this divorce and that's not enough so she went to her lawyer. I also pay all of the mortgage(1550), electricity, cable, internet, phone, heating oil, taxes, ect... not a dime she gives me. She does pay for her car, her medical(which I was paying and she took over, thank God), and some groceries.
So, I guess i'm damed if I do and damed if I don't.
Doesn't madder what I do, she'll hate me for it. She want's residence with the kids and doesn't have the first incling about bills. What is she thinking??????????
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry that you're going through this.
What's she thinking?
Hard to say.
Is there anyone that you can stay with?
It's so hard to be in the same house.
deleted_user
deleted_user
perhaps if she made you a list of things she would like you to do and of course you agree to it, then she can't get mad. and perhaps if you made her out a budget she could see how the bills and paying them all work, of course she'll probably get mad at you for it, but it works for me seeing it on paper. ive always done my own bills and budgeting and financing on my own anyway. good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There probably won't be anything that you can do to stop the anger. That just seems to go with the territory.

Talk to your lawyer, try to get someone to help you two split things up in a way that will cause the least amount of grief on Both sides.

I wish you luck. STBX and I shared the house for three months...that was 2 months and 3 weeks beyond what I could handle. Painful.

(((Hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
When two people who are splitting are living under the same roof the situation is bound to be adversarial. I see from your profile that your kids don't know yet. They have to be feeling the tension in your house. If one of you can find another place to live you may want to consider that.
sc2kids4me
sc2kids4me
So you are already divorced and still living together? This is a recipe for disaster! You must find a way to get out! Let her nag, at this point it no longer matters. The children are the only thing that matters. Good luck to you! And might I suggest a good set of earplugs and maybe some blinders.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have told her the bills but never wrote them down. Her lawyer is asking me to do CS and AL even tho I live here. Their was mention of sharing the house hold bills and I sent an e-mail to my lawyer about what I spend and wrote that it would be a great idea that we share the exspenses. It would have to be done by % of coarse. She make 20% of what I do, she will pay 20% of the bills. Make sense?
deleted_user
deleted_user
The kids do know, I guess I need to update.

We are 5 months into it and still haven't done the custody yet. This is dragging out WAY too long for sure.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like she has made up her mind already.

You may be spinning your wheels trying to please her. She is well into the "It's all about me!" stage.

Heres one thing you can trust....she has way more than an inkling of what she is going to get out of this, and how much she will have when its over. She knew all that before she pushed your first button.

Enjoy the ride. We are here and will meet you at the other end.
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