starting completly over at this age after you been through so much really sucks. i don't have a life a year ago i had the world in my hands. good credit no debt enough for down payment on a house. student loans all paid got money back from child support. i had friends to do things with, mt kids. then i met her. she had none of that except four kids. today she owns a restruant and is buying a house and i'm living in a one room hell hole with a lap top and .93 cents to my name and watched mt credit score drop over three hundred points. i'm my own worse critic i go to an aa meeting and i get called an idiot and stupid by ppl i've known for years i was even asked by a couple to find another meeting cuz i'm not what they want the newcomers to think of in "their meeting" i been sober ten tears. ten years sober and i didn't take there advice. they said they knew it was going to happen should of just listened they said. self righteuos fucks. but you know something i would do it all again cuz i know when i go before God he will say you did nothing wrong but give with your heart and thats what corithians 13 says to do
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