Two day after I was gone he moved in. This after my wife needed space to find her self. She promised me there was no one, would be no surprises.

The first morning he came out to drink his coffee by my pond the little old lady that lives overlooking the pond got so mad she turned the hose on him. She's 83.

Look when they make their move all bets are off. I intend to go about my life and when "she" shows up I'll know her.

No all guys can do that. Right now my ex is has a thing going on with one of my friends, or should I say ex friend. I'm the one alone at this point but that's not a bad thing for me right now. Sort of enjoying the freedom to be honest.

Don't know why it's so easy for them. My stbx had his girlfriend pregnant before he even told me it was over between us. Moved her in with him before we were finished too. My advice to you is to keep talking to people here. They will give you strength! Lots of it and you will need every ounce! Take care, Beth

I think it's best to stick to not dating for a while because you need time to get your inner self together. When you involve someone, it all becomes way more confusing and you feel like you are being pulled in two directions and besides being free to date for a while may be better than jumping into another relationship.

its hard for me to answer this..i too get lonely..my soon to be x..and i have been separated over a year and december 20 marks our third year of marriage..dont see him, dont talk to him..have no address but want to file for divorce because my brother's wife, his best friend, says he's engaged...its frustrating..i want to get on with my life and find that special someone to give me the love that i've never really had..

I don't think it's necessarily that it's easier to "move on" for a man. I think men and women have different ways of dealing with things. While it may seem (from the outside looking in) that a PERSON is moving on, and is ok with things, you don't know what's going on inside that PERSON's head or heart.

I agree with Ivan. Looks are deceiving even if they jump in before your marriage ended you can bet on this:

1. They chose a relationship to avoid dealing with the issued that ended their marriage.
2. They are not willing to work on their issues...so the next relationship will suffer double duty (bad habits poor communication plus unresolved issues).

3 Think about this-- the OW doesn't want to hear about his or her pain related to the previous relationship. There is no out let. It's a formula for disaster...eventually the rebound relationship will crash an burn more often than most.

Our best defence to live a healthier more authentic lives. Work on our issues so we bring a healthier person to our next relationship. Yea it means going thru the pain and delaying gratification. But in the long run we will be happier for it. Hang in there do the work. Eventually you will come to the point of almost feeling sorry for your X because you will most likely live to see their painful issues resurface and rake havoc in their lives.

WOW luvbugsmom you have hit the nail on the head. My STBX moved on immediately and I have struggled with why? I have to say I agree with luvbugsmom we will be better off going through the divorce alone with friends and family and not with another man or woman to complicate the situation. I believe that a lot of people move on too quickly and it never works out because they have not dealt with the end of the first relationship. I know I am not going to jump into anything. What am I going to talk to them about my divorce? Please.

thanks you guys makes since for sure I am so glad I found this site :)

Sorry to disagree, but my stbx started dating 2 weeks before me. They are still together, we're not. Funny that she asked our daughter when is Kathy moving in with your dad.