I have the exact same question. My H and I have been separated 6 months (thought we were going to reconcile 3-4 months into it). I don't think we'll be fighting over much but even with mediation someone told me I should have an attorney. I won't be the one to file so should I just wait to be served? I have the same questions as you motherH.

i am wondering the same, let me know what they tell you.

You don't HAVE to get a lawyer. I had a lawyer because I served and we didn't have all that much to divide either. For SOME reason though, My X got a lawyer with only THREE months left until court because everyone told him too. They also said not to trust me. It's a 50/50 state and all I was asking was my half of the house and half his pension. Not even Maintenance. Although I feel bad he basically shot $2500 out the window and he KNOWS it, I also feel bad that after being with him for 25 years that he felt he could not trust me. :(

I have the same question. He is the one who left and I just can't bring myself to file. I guess if/when he does file, then I will look into it (depending on what the paper work says). Or if he stops putting the agreed upon $$ in our bank account. I only asked for exactly the amount I need to survive - no extra.

In my state (Ga) once you are served you have 30 days to respond. In my case, since I had no idea what the process was I went to see a lawyer. I paid for the consultation but there are plenty out there that are free. I got the basic run down of what was going to happen and some good advice on wh at to expect. Fortunately, my stbx and I have been able to agree on just about everything so we will only be using a lawyer (hopefully) for writing the agreement up.

If your scared and don't know what to do, go get a free consultation asap. You don't have to commit any money and you will have a better feel for what the process is.

I agree with Bill, go for a free consultation. I don't want to have to file either, but I wanted to know what my rights are just in case. The lawyer I met with gave me some great advice, and if I end up needing one, I know who to call and it won't be as scary.

I filed first - even though we are a no-fault state- because he never would have filed and life would have continued with the low level tension, desperation and meanness. It's nice to know you have legal advice on your side and not have to be on the defensive.

Sometimes this becomes a game of "who blinks first". While many of you do not want to file...as long as you are still married many things are on hold, like your life. Legally there can be other repercussions. If you co own a home or vehicles you are both liable for any injury someone receives on the property or due to an accident.

My son moved quickly to get things settled, his ex wife is a rotten driver and he didn't want his salary garnished because of a lawsuit!

On the other hand anything that either of you accumulates while you are still married will be considered "marital assets" and subject to division in a settlement.

I didn't use an attorney to file.
However I did go talk to one. I had my list of questions and for under $100, I was able to put a lot of nameless fears to rest.
Go consult with one. Soon.
And then keep that person's card for if things get ugly/ weird. I have a card in my wallet that I haven't had to use, but it really makes me feel good to know that I have someone I feel I can trust if I need legal help.

If I sat back and waited for stbx to act I would feel like my fate and that of my children is in his hands.

I don't know the divorce laws in your state. A Lawyer can tell you if there is any advantage to being the one to file, a lawyer can help determine the amount of support that should be paid if children are involved, what the visitation guidelines are. A provisional order can set support, visitation, and can outline who gets temporary residence of the home and who gets which vehicle and who pays which joint bills.

At least consult a lawyer so you're ready to hire someone when the time comes. Good luck.

I'm trying not to hire a lawyer. If he does what I want him to do (Trust me, it's not much), then we have no problems.

I think everyone is different when it comes to lawyers. It all depends on how friendly friendly you 2 still are.