I was just setting up vision and dental appointments- had to give my stbx's info since it's his insurance... It made me so bloody angry. First of all, because I hate having to use his name and feel associated with him, but more because this all just still feels so wrong. It's like I'm in the twilight zone. I should be able to lean over and say "Honey, what's your social security number?" Instead of having to dig through emails and documents to find his info.

People keep telling me, it's better that this happened, I'll be happier without him, he doesn't care about me anyway- but it still just feels WRONG. Do you actually hit a point where you say "I'm glad this happened?" Cause I can't imagine it. I'm still so frustrated knowing that, according to him, our relationship was getting better and better, our problems were solvable. It will never make any sense to me that you bail on a relationship literally because you don't feel like putting in the small amount of effort required.

I hate him so much for putting me here. I never want to see him again, but I still just want my "loving" husband, as fictional as he apparently was, to come home and hug me and make me grilled cheese.