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When does Confidence come back?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I've been here a while, and made so much progress. There are just some things I'm not making much progress on though.

Quick recap on my story. Lived with my fiance for 5 , we had each been previously married. Owned a condo together. Things went "south" when he started blatantly cheating on me. I had a nervous breakdown and 4 mons. later got him to buy me out, my employer was able to get me a transfer 1000 miles away. I bought a condo, hired movers, packed my car and drove away. Now I find myself somewhat "stuck", for lack of a better word. I'm on vacation for the 2nd time since I moved here and lack the confidence to take a real vacation alone.

When does that come back?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good question...it comes slowly..and in spurts...I am confident some of the time but not all of the time...just jump in and take a real vacation...sometimes if you act as if you, your feelings catch up to your actions..

KIM
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I knew, I was an emotional basket case for awhile, still have my good and bad days. I am sure it will come back someday. This whole thing is a tremendous kick in the self-esteem that is for sure.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Each small success makes us stronger. Don't push yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. Be happy with the small steps because big problems are generally made up of a lot of small ones. Take it slowly and you will do fine
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well somehow I grew a set (pardon the french) to drive my ass out here, through blizzards. Now I just am weak in the knee's about leaving, even for a few days. My sister thinks I view this as my "safe haven" for now. I can drive up to the Wyoming border for stuff...down to Denver and south for stuff...but leaving...can't seem to bring myself to do it...how silly isn't it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like you're doing a lot better than you're giving yourself credit for. The fact that you're taking vacations at all is great! Also, what's your idea of a "real" vacation?
Che2
Che2
Not silly. maybe you can grab a friend to go with you..or take smaller day trips. Baby steps.

If I wanted to get away withoput the kids..I would probably go TO someone. Visit a friend or meet up with some.

Good luck and have a great vacation :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess I mean a vacation "away from home". There's so much I want to do...Im taking another vacation in March..and badly want to go to Boston for St. Patty's Day. Doing it alone, scares me! A vacation shouldn't be scary.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Remember that your chances of having a successful holiday are the same as when you were single. We tend to let what we percieve as our failures over-whelm us and erode our confidence. I used to go on holidays all the same by myself and used to meet extraordinary people and have a great time. We are the same people we used to be. We just have to remember that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have created a little fortress of solitude for yourself. Time to stretch those wings and fly, your independent and you can go and do what ever you want or can afford. Are you planning to go to Vegas in April, that would be some thing to shoot for and in the mean time come up with some little trips to test the waters. You have made this far on your own, I know you can do it. I have never ever traveled far any where by myself but I plan on doing it very soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh I'm going to Vegas for sure!
LarryLDN
LarryLDN
Last November, so 9 months out, I realized I could now go Anywhere I wanted, When ever I wanted, however I wanted with whomeever I wanted, and stay and do whatever I felt like doing.

So I went to Atlantic City for 3 days. I got rooms via local websites and stayed in the casinos real cheap.

I had to be in Florida the end of April, so that's 14 months Out, and I decided to drive down with friends, spend my time with the family, and then drive home, Alone.

4/23-5/11 was the most awesome vacation of my life, and then on 5/12 it got better. I got home 5/19. That trip totally changed everything.

Vegas is real tempting.. but that's not a Vacation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Courier when I was a flight attendant I was alone for days at a time, It was scary at first but I knew I had to venture out or I would be lock up in a hotel room for 2 days! When I took that first step out by myself in a strange city I was thrilled and wondered what I was afraid of...I met wonderful people and had such great times..take a small trip and see what an adventure it can be. Now I love going places alone! I love to go out and eat alone and people can't believe I enjoy that...go take a small trip..see the wonderful people you meet and the feeling of being alone and so proud of yourself..If you want you can book a group trip...Oh. the fun people you will meet....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm good around Colorado. This is odd for me. I've always been a traveler. I just find it odd that I've lost my confidence to travel alone..where no one will be "meeting me" at the destination point. The vacations I've taken since I've been here...I don't stay cooped up in the house..I just don't hop on a plane like I used to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Those planes are not any fun to hop on to anymore...I love you..come here to LA CA and see me ......
deleted_user
deleted_user
Actually, i might just do that....you know the secret code (said in little kid voice).
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