I have seen time and again how important it is for people in our situation to get on with our lives no matter what our intentions.

Unless there is something specific she is looking for from you - your best bet is to stop going after her, and work on yourself.

It will benefit you no matter what course she decides upon.

And as hard as it is to face - you are better off seeking the advice of an attorney as early in the process as possible.

I was focused on reconciliation for the first three months, while my wife was running up credit cards, getting every dental procedure done that you could imagine, and working on her new relationship. Let's just say, I made some decisions in those months that weren't necessarily in my best long term interests.

Best wishes. I am sorry for what you are going through right now, because I know how it feels... and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

You need to read the Discussion "A wonderful email from my sister". That may help you. This was very well written and I got alot out of it. You may too.

I have to agree with LisaC. She just turned me on to it too, it is a good letter, read it some very good stuff in there.

I would have to say stop looking for reconciling when your HEAD KNOWS what your heart WONT accept.

I have hope. You may have hope, but sometimes you just have to let go.

Do what you need to do for yourself to be able to move on.

2 years and counting. I still hope every day. Sometimes I dream it happened, then awake disappointed. I would say hoping is not good for your mental health. I wish my answer was as cut and dry sounding as everyone elses. Sounds like everyone here has let go. I hope it happens for me soon!

I hung on for two years, and you know what... He finally came back. The kids and I were ecstatic. He promised us the world. But you know what? 3 months later he walked out again and is now marrying someone else.

I wish I could have let go 2 years ago when he divorced me instead of wasting all that time holding on. Look where it got me, right back to depression and starting all over from square one.

I really wish you the best, and I will tell you that x told me he came back because he saw a big difference in me. I worked really hard on all the negative things he pointed out to me (even the ones I didn't think were wrong) when he left me. I established a wonderful relationship with God, and was ready to give him my all.

I guess I'm saying, work on yourself. I'm not doing too good at taking my own advice, but that way you aren't disappointed if it doesn't happen, and if it does your pleasantly surprised and also a much better person for you and your marriage. I know I was.

Today, well yesterday now. That was my last day of thinking, hell wanting us to endure. I no longer would reconcile. I am done with him, his lies, and the hurt.

Does she have someone else?

That seems to play a big part in those relationships that reconcile and those who do not...

You need closure. Sometimes people never give you that & sometimes they do and we can't accept it. Believe it or not the divorce papers may be the beginning of closure for you. I hope things get better for you.

I had hoped for a reconciliation and got it but it was a very big mistake. I didn't know it at first but he was keeping in contact with girlfriend.He used me and our daughter to have a place to live and get a job. I found out and kicked him out and the day he left he went and got his girlfriend and moved her here now they are living together. I know now I am alot better off with out him but it still hurts.

I am right there with you. My husband left four weeks ago. The first three, I held on to the hopes he would come back. I was miserable. Everytime he rejected me, the hurt would start all over again. This past week, I have been working on moving on. It is a lot easier to focus on yourself then what the other person is going to do. It will just end up in disappoinment. My advice for you is to stop now. If reconciliation happens great but stop hoping for it.