I am right there with you on this. I am always looking at him and wondering how he has realized what a huge mistake he is making. Even though I know he wont be coming back. I just think he has lost his mind is what I think. Just crazy, how he can just keep moving farther away from me. Very cruel.. But everytime he is around I am always asking questions that make him uncomfortable. I really know its over though, and cant take him back. And I still make a fool of myself everytime. I dont believe I am a glutton for punishment. I dont have mixed feelings about this. I know it is the end.. And that is what makes me soo broken. He just has no clue what he has done to me. And now he just wants to move on. A decision he made. I feel like a crazy person and think i need my head examined. I cant believe that I know all that I do, and still get weak in the knees just looking at him.. I know that I need a job, and then I will phase him out. I have made it farther than I thought I could in the beginning.. And have done well.. Acceptance is a hard thing. I just cannot seem to process it yet.

It hurts to think that he has lost interest in your relationship and it's really hard to believe that what was once there can't be recaptured. It's hard to think of moving on after the end of a relationship but to keep ourselves together, sometimes we have to detach ourselves somewhere else.

Eventhough I have retained an attorney and am going forward with the divorce-I also do stupid stuff like try to get dressed particularly sexy whenever he needs to drop by for something...... My brain says one thing my gut says another....especially after so many years together.
He was my first real boyfriend at age 18.
Eventhough he did horrible things to me......cheated with a co worker for over 5 years.......
I want him to continue begging me to take him back, to say he loves me ( whether I truly believe that he could have loved me and cheated..)
just crazy emotions all mixed together.

Letting go is an awful process, that I have not mastered myself. I think in general the people here remember the good no matter the situation, it seems to be the others that can't escape. How do we go on??? Don't know either. I am finally learning no matter what I try or what I do I can't change the other person. That only leaves me to work with. Thanks for kids, and some how thanks to my separated wife. For now I can be me!

I know. It's not the idea of being alone that bothers me. I really wouldn't even want to give up the lessons I have learned from all of this. Being alone doesn't bother me. It for some reason bothers me that he thinks it is about me or our relationship. It bothers me that the father of our children would choose this. It bothers me that I would choose such a man to be a father. Stuff like that.

It is so hard to not think we can change the way someone else thinks about us or our relationship, especially if we love them.

I know, I was married for 27 years to my best friend. When he met this other woman, all of a sudden what was a happy marriage became (I'm in love with another woman and I think I've been unhappy for a long time but didn't know it).


I was floored! I found this out 1 week after my 27th anniversary where we held hands in a romantic dinner and told each other how much we loved each other!

Well that was in Sept.

I have spent the past 5.5 months trying to get this man to work on our marriage to no avail. I have given up.

I deserve better and guess what... "So do you!".

You know Swan- This is a learning experience that you will never forget. How you feel about it will change over time but it is something you won't forget. I like your comment on why I picked this man to be the father to my kids. I had an experience similiar to yours (no kids involved thank God!)about 37 years ago and I remember what it taught me.