
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
What would b on your X, STBX, etc Profile???

deleted_user
Ive been thinking a lot maybe to much on what I think about all of this and not enough on how he might feel ...so here goes, This is what I believe my H's profile might say...
Male, 45, PA, (3) bright beautiful kids...Going through a midlife crisis...
Have been married 20 years w the same women 27. I have bacome complacent in my marriage and Im not sure I want to change. I refuse to go to marriage counceling bc once she gets over her latest issues, this too will pass. I cant make any more efforts to change bc I am so tired of working my whole like to provide for her and the kids. I love my kids and I take the responsibility of providing for them seriously, but Im not a risk taker and therfore in a job that pays well but is going nowhere. I commute everyday 1 hr each way and work bet 8-9 hours per day, so I am exhausted and drained by the end of the day and by the weekend I dont want or feel a need to work on my relationship.My spouse has worked parttime over the last 20 years while taking care of the house and kids. However, she has not provided the family w any signifant means of income. I dont know how to show her the love she feels that she needs at this point in our lives.I dont know that I can change and at this point unwilling to take the effort.
***This is only my opinion on what he might say or feel , hes very bottled up and doesnt express himself that well.
So Ladies>> my question is "I this your X?0 and Guys>>"Do you fit this mold?"
Let me know!!!!
Male, 45, PA, (3) bright beautiful kids...Going through a midlife crisis...
Have been married 20 years w the same women 27. I have bacome complacent in my marriage and Im not sure I want to change. I refuse to go to marriage counceling bc once she gets over her latest issues, this too will pass. I cant make any more efforts to change bc I am so tired of working my whole like to provide for her and the kids. I love my kids and I take the responsibility of providing for them seriously, but Im not a risk taker and therfore in a job that pays well but is going nowhere. I commute everyday 1 hr each way and work bet 8-9 hours per day, so I am exhausted and drained by the end of the day and by the weekend I dont want or feel a need to work on my relationship.My spouse has worked parttime over the last 20 years while taking care of the house and kids. However, she has not provided the family w any signifant means of income. I dont know how to show her the love she feels that she needs at this point in our lives.I dont know that I can change and at this point unwilling to take the effort.
***This is only my opinion on what he might say or feel , hes very bottled up and doesnt express himself that well.
So Ladies>> my question is "I this your X?0 and Guys>>"Do you fit this mold?"
Let me know!!!!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Professional Male, 50 yrs old, fit, but drunk most of the time. I really like to have sex with men, but I don't want anyone to know that. As long as some woman is willing to pay 1/2 my bills I can play act, till she gets mad at my screwing around with guys. Did I mention that I'm having a mid life crisis and need professional help?
lies lies lies
If hes completely honest with himself, mine may write.
Confused male looking for love, but Im not sure I can return anyones love. I think Im turned on to men but dont want to admit it even to myself, so Im looking to hide behind a very attractive and extremely young woman to verify my manhood. She must adore me and do everything I want as you see I was an only child and am used to getting everything my way and I dont want complication with a strong woman who may need anything in return, such as intimacy, love and sharing.
Write me if its okay with you that I not pay any attention to you and I can continue my secret life-style with men. I may occasionally have anonymous sex with men but dont let this bother you because I will make sure you are taken care of by providing food and shelter for you.
Dont expect anything else with me. Oh, by the way I love watching television, so when Im watching Desperate Housewife, House, American Idol, Ugly Betty or any of the hundreds of silly programs I watch please dont talk to me. You can discuss things with me during a commercial break.
Another thing you must cook my meals three times a day, clean my house and be a date partner for when I go out with other straight couples to the theatre or movies as I need a good cover. I dont want my friends to think Im not interested in women even though I dislike them intensely.
I think I may have narcissitic tendencies, but heh no one is perfect. As you can see, Im a great catch, so please write me.
Best Wishes,
Confused Bill
I am fun loving, love the sun, and love passion (not intimacy so much because I am a guy and sex equals intimacy to me).
We did not get along because all she thought of was work and ensuring that the retirement money would be there. She was Mrs. Responsibility. Who cares? Live for today. I was tired of her never wanting to party, always tired from work and taking care of the house (which I refused to do because #1. it is not fun and #2. it is woman's work --My mom did it and never complained) and also tired of her not wanting to have wild sex or even any after a while. I thought she was dysfunctional in that department and she wouldn't get therapy. In the last 10 years I asked her to get sex therapy. Isn't that reaching out? She was boring and I needed excitement. Life is too short.
I am getting older and that is hard to accept. My philosophy is from the 60's, "If it feels good do it." So I did with someone with no inhibitions (and if it was with someone in the family, so what? They should be happy I am happy and finally out of that hell hole of a marriage. They have now shut me out, she and my kids. She offered to get all kinds of therapy, but too little too late.
Well, life is short and I am going to live it up with what I have left. I wasted 25 years of my life, and I will not waste any more. She was okay up until the kids were born. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but they sucked the life out of the marriage because she gave them all the attention I got before they were born. I stuck it out all those years when I would like to have left, so now I am entitled to live again.
>>>>>>Okay, there is some of my input in the obvious sarcasm, but it is also exactly what he told me before he left, which is more than he talked to me in the last 20+ years.
39-year-old man
Syracuse, New York, United States
seeking women 35-40
within 25 miles of Syracuse, New York, United States
Relationships: Divorced
Have kids: Yes, and sometimes they live at home (3)
Want kids: Probably not
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: Slender
Height: 5'7" (170cms)
Religion: Christian / Catholic
Smoke: Trying to quit
Drink: Social drinker, maybe one or two
Here is what is on his myspace
I am 39 and currently seperatedand hoping for the best..I know i have made some mistakes in my life to hurt someone I just wish we could forgive and forget and move on with what was a wonderful life.I have 3 boys 10,8, and 6.I love spending time with my children as often as i can.I am in the bricklayers union fulltime.
I guess he can't make up his mind if he is divorced yet or not.
Drinking a few includes 5,6,0r more 5 out of 7 days a week. Along with always being negative, unless you are one of his buddies.
I am great
I am faultless
I am gods gift to the world
I am perfect
I deserve everything
I am best in whole world
oh, and I was married to some jerk
He was the worst
He had no redeeming quality
He had nothing to compliment
He deserves to be crushed
He has no right breathing
He dont think of me 100% of the time
Is there anyone out there looking for ME.
...thats what her profile would say in so many words.
Professional male, 46 years old, excellent at his work, sucks at home.
Feeling guilty about being a workaholic while wife raised kids, now trying to buy their affection, working on one but not the other.
Decided I could do better by screwing around with a younger woman, but its not getting me anywhere and I have lost my wife, who has stood by me through a manic depressive brother, fragile manipulating mother, selfish sister, she has raised my kids and done a hellof a good job, helped take care of my mother, put our life on hold the past 3 years because Mom moved in with us and we can't do anything without her and we couldn't go on any vacations because we couldn't leave Mom, and she takes care of me when I am sick but I am not happy so I want everything and leave her on the streets with nothing...I don't think her lawyer is agreeing to that. So I am being nice, when my bi-polar isn't getting in the way and trying to appease her so she will feel sorry for me and I get my way and I still get to take everything I want.
OK Thanks! That was theraputic! LOL
MrGoodGuy:
IN MY MIND, I never lied. I just told her things I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO HEAR, so they werent really lies. I dont care what the dictionary says, omitting important information isnt the same as lying."
"IN MY MIND, she never bothered to thank me for treating her like a queen. I did everything for her, I even helped around the house. I provided a decent roof over her head, food, clothes, etc. I remembered all special occasions."
"IN MY MIND my only mistake was that I let her work."
"IN MY MIND she is rigid and unforgiving, judgmental & negative 85% of the time. And, she wanted to turn me into a girl you know share my feelings with her. Im a guy guys dont do feelings."
"IN MY MIND, I just didnt bother to tell her when I was having a drink b/c if I did, she would just get on my case about it. She thinks Im an alcoholic. How can I be? Ive never been arrested. I didnt lose the family assets (the $10K loan I cosigned for an AA bud who promptly defaulted doesnt really count). I never missed a day of work, never killed anyone and Ive never been divorced (oops). I don't drink that much & I can stop after one drink no alcoholic can do that. I just like going to AA because they are good people. I only went thru rehab twice b/c she made me go (shes so rigid). I was sober for 12 years and rarely had a drink during that time. It didnt matter to her that I would buy my Jack 45 minutes from the house, drink it all & toss the bottle. That way, I figured if I did get stopped, it would be too soon for the cops to tell Id had anything."
IN MY MIND, I always do the right thing. Just because I didnt talk to her when it came time to make major decisions, doesnt mean I didnt take her into consideration when I made them. What more does she want?
IN MY MIND, I dont understand why she doesnt trust me.
Im a great guy, everyone says so. I like myself just the way I am.
4? year old male. married to ungrateful woman. we have/had everything.gave her everything (except freedom,, consideration, respect yadda yadda blah blah) beautiful house (which I can't afford without her) I have 2 cars (dunno why, don't have a job) had dogs (she took em, or they ran away...oh wait there's one)a few kids ( not sure how many, her job, never really bothered with them)hobbies- talking.... about me. reading. listening to music (don't really care if someone else is sleeping etc, even in same room) tv (same) smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. monitoring wifes comings and goings ( she's usually up to something and I have nothing else to do)computer.(nosing into wifes business) I believe a couple should share the household chores, I am willing to do some (and she should do the rest when she comes home from work)I am a "take charge" kinda guy. meaning, everything around me is mine to control. if I don't think you are using it, I take charge of it. I believe in sharing, and since she has more...hey, it's only fair! I'm willing to care for her when she is ill and unable (definition- unconscious or dead)I have always been there for her ( in the geographical area) she has beeb slightly distant lately (hasnt slept in same bed with me in over a year, dunno what's up with that, and have never asked)In summation (which is waaay to big a word for me, wife musta wrote this) I'm useless!
I am an alcoholic and I like to use drugs but I'm not addicted.I could quit either one whenever I wanted to.
It would easier to quit if she had moved with me but she wouldn't because of her mothers health issues.I told her many times that it was her sister's turn(she has been doing this for almost 10 years now) and both her sisters just moved back about a year ago to help).She wouldn't listen though so I had to leave for my own sanity and happiness.
I still love her but I can't be with her anymore because she can't let go of her family.I think she has a great heart but it should have been for me.She is a grown woman now who should be living for herself and the man she loves.
I need a woman who can be there for me.