talk to your dog, you'll get a better response. Or, really, kidding aside, go talk to a counselor. your stbx won't give a rip about what you ahve to say to him

I'm sorry you're in such pain. This is really hard and will take some time for you to heal.

Try writing him a letter - but don't give it to him. Also keep a journal. Put all of your feelings down. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they're just feelings. It's ok not to show your emotions to him, but you need a way to deal with them and not stuff them. A good counselor can be very helpful. I thought counseling was just paying someone to listen, but it's really a lot more than that. If they're good, they will mirror the real you; help you to get the real you back. Hugs.

Thank you JTGPP. I agree, that is why in a way I have hesitated to say anything to him. The kids and I are in counseling and it is helping us, along with our faith in God. Have a good day!

Wistful13, you are correct. I am actually keeping a journal through all this, it does help to jot down your feelings. I know time will heal, and it is something I need to go through.

I think expressing your emotions to him will just boost his ego more. Sounds like he has alot of pride and very stubborn. Be yourself and appear strong when in his sight. You don't want to give him the satisfaction that he has brought you down. He has not taken the best part of you because you have the best part of him, your children.

i'm so glad your kids and you are in counseling, it's time now to take care of just you and the kids. i journal and it helps a lot, you probably won't get the answers you seek from him. i have a couple of locked journal pages, they are letters i wrote to ex, i'll never send them, but who cares, it purged my feelings and made me feel better. you seem very strong, hang in there.

Don't give him the satisfaction of pouring out your feelings to him. His response, or lack of response, will just cause you to have more anger and hurt. Do express yourself with your journal, friends, therapist. You sound like you're doing the right thing. I find it useful to be in a support group with people who are at various stages so I can see how long it can take and what to expect.

I just read "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Even though I had mixed feelings about the book (a little self-obsessed), but her message is very good. Especially about letting go of ex emotionally. I would recommend that you read it.

You could use the journal here or just get a cheap notebook to jot your feelings in. Bouncing feelings off someone...someone "impartial" is great if you can.

Hugs! This is hard work!