Hello! I guess I just need to vent so I am glad I found this site. Me and my husband has been married for 7 yrs and have 2 wonderful children. My husband is a nice guy, everyone loves him, he's the type of guy that wouldn't hurt a fly. He gets up every morning and goes to work and I am thankful for that, but that is all he does. Literally, that's all he does. He wakes up, eats, watches tv, goes to work, comes home, eats, watches tv and goes to bed. On the weekend he eats and watches tv. It's been this way for years. For years now I have taken care of the kids, worked full-time, kept the house clean, the laundry done, handled the finances, taken the cars in for oil changes, etc and made sure dinner was made. It's not because "I like" doing it all or because I am a "control freak", I would love for him to do some of these things, but he doesn't. He says he "doesn't know how" and that all his father did was work and that's what a man is suppose to do. With that said, please note his mother was a stay at home mom. I don't have that luxury. I have learned to deal with it over the years, but last year my health began to decline. I was diagnosed with lupus. He was not supportive at all, in fact he shut down and didn't talk to me for awhile. It was like he was blaming me for having lupus. He tried counseling and it worked for a month, but then went back to his old ways. He says he is going to start helping with the kids and around the house, but he doesn't. Just recently I found out I have rheumatoid arthritis as well. I keep explaining to him that I am tired and I need help. He just doesn't get it. It's so hard because everyone thinks he's the greatest guy in the world, and in the meantime me and my kids suffer behind closed doors. I have taken care of him for so long. Am I selfish to want someone to take care of me? I have always taken care of myself and others around me. I don't even know what it feels like to have someone take care of me, I don't think I would know what to do. I have thought about filing for divorce before, but never acted on my thoughts. I am afraid of hurting him and hurting the kids. He's 41 so I doubt that he is going to change. I think the time has come though for me to seriously consider filing for divorce. I think it would provide me and my kids with a healthier envirnoment. I just don't know if I am strong enough to go through the process and the stigma of divorcing "the nice guy". Has anyone been faced with a similiar situation?
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