I know all of you lashed out at me for my last discussion post, but I have a question to ask and this is the only place I know of on here to ask it at. The man I'm married to now is the first and only guy I ever dated. He was emotionally abusive to me when we were teenagers and I think that I've always been looking for a way to get away from him. He's great now, but I still feel like I need to get away from him. I don't know why. What's wrong with me? I don't want another man, that's for sure. I just want to be by myself. I guess I've always felt like I've wanted to go out and make it on my own just to show him better. But all that's stupid, right? Geez. I've seen some kind of movie like this, but I can't remember what it was. He's always made it apparent to me that I could not function without him and it really makes me mad. I guess it's mostly my low self esteem and that I was always treated as the ugly, stupid, fat girl, in school. I think it's damaged me. I just feel like I'd be much better off away from here. I don't get it. I thought maybe it was the bi polar or the obsessive compulsive, but then I remembered that my therapist said it wasn't. And this isn't a feeling that's come up all the sudden, either. I've been thinking about this ever since we got married. I thought that marrying him would fix everything and it hasn't. I know six years isn't that long to be married compared to some other divorced people I know, but.... I just feel so....confused....
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