Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So....he called me tonight. Asked me how the kids were doing. Which is very unlike him. I told him they were fine, and he would have known if they wasn't. So I asked him why he was really calling me....
Well he was getting things ready for me to come get tomorrow. I'm taking my daughters bedroom suit. He was cleaning out her room...cuz he is getting a room mate that will be in that room. Anyway, I guess he found a bunch of pictures of him and I, all crumbled up in her jewelry box. This upset him a bunch. I told him that she probably had done that b/c he had removed all of the pictures, and she wanted to have some. So she hid them there, thinking he wouldn't find them and take them from her.
Well the conversation got into how our daughter want's more than anything for her mommy and daddy to be together. And how he tries to give her everything, but he can't give her this, because it's out of his hands.
I didn't know what to say. I just said I can't do this and hung up the phone. He does this every so often. I feel like he uses the kids to get to me. He knows the kids are my world, and I want them to be happy. I understand that their mommy and daddy being together may make them happy...but it really wouldn't. He and I together are toxic. All we do is fight. I mean we have been apart for almost 9 months and we still fight, even more than what we did when we were together.
I have tried to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy aren't going to be together anymore. Because it's best for them that we aren't.
Well he was getting things ready for me to come get tomorrow. I'm taking my daughters bedroom suit. He was cleaning out her room...cuz he is getting a room mate that will be in that room. Anyway, I guess he found a bunch of pictures of him and I, all crumbled up in her jewelry box. This upset him a bunch. I told him that she probably had done that b/c he had removed all of the pictures, and she wanted to have some. So she hid them there, thinking he wouldn't find them and take them from her.
Well the conversation got into how our daughter want's more than anything for her mommy and daddy to be together. And how he tries to give her everything, but he can't give her this, because it's out of his hands.
I didn't know what to say. I just said I can't do this and hung up the phone. He does this every so often. I feel like he uses the kids to get to me. He knows the kids are my world, and I want them to be happy. I understand that their mommy and daddy being together may make them happy...but it really wouldn't. He and I together are toxic. All we do is fight. I mean we have been apart for almost 9 months and we still fight, even more than what we did when we were together.
I have tried to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy aren't going to be together anymore. Because it's best for them that we aren't.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
It's probably going to get worse. I had my daughter when I was 20....she is mixed black and white. The biological father signed over his rights to my H, when she was 2.
So i can only imagine what she will go though with that. I mean she knows that her daddy adopted her, and that her real daddy and I thought that was the best thing. I have explained to her that my H chose to be her daddy, that he loves her very much. She doesn't really get all of that...she just knows that her skin color is different...and it's that way b/c a black man helped me make her.
Neway....this will be an issue for a long time. And then now with the divorce....it's really hard on her i'm sure. I wish there was something I could do for her. I know she will have to go through the grieving process as well.....but I wish she didn't have too.
It's really hard when she asks questions like....don't you love my daddy anymore. And don't you miss my daddy.... :( I say yes....I have tried to say no...that made her very upset. But the truth is I do miss and love him very much...we just can't be together. And I try to tell her that.