I don't want my marriage to end. But most of the time I feel certain that it must. I don't see any other way to weather this storm. I remember how I used to feel like I was her knight in shining armor and that she was proud to be my wife. ANd happy to be my wife. I never doubted that I was attracted, that I could satisfy her, that I was loved. Now I worry that she will never look at me like that again, that I will never be adequate. It makes me sadder than I can say. Even when we're doing alright I still have those thoughts in the back of my head. And it makes me sad. I want to know the things to do and I want to feel like it wouldn't be a waste of time to put in the efforts. It just seems like no matter how hard I try I will fail.
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