My marriage was in major trouble, I had pretty much given up and I let myself get emotionally involved with another man. My marriage is over but it took forever and in the meantime the man I fell in love with does not trust me. I did do stupid things and lied when I was sure he was going to be angry when my ex pulled something that made things harder for me/us to get to the next phase. Long story short, he broke up with me about 6 mths ago, which nearly broke me and I worked hard to heal. I have never stopped loving him. He recently came to me and we talked and he says he knows no one is a better fit for him but he sees my lies and does not know how to trust me. He also says he is not sure he can step into the role of a stepfather since I have two kids and his son is almost out of high school. I have wanted so much to make things right with him. I love him. My issue is that I do think he loves me but he has huge issues to deal with and if he does not get through them we will always struggle. My real problem is that I am so lonely and have tried joining groups, finding new friends, a couple dates, reading, talking to friends, counceling. I want him to figure it out and I am frustrated. In the meantime I put myself out there for him and he sort of comes and goes like a yo-yo. I want to be strong and my friends are about 50/50 in their advice that I keep talking or stop talking to him. I miss him. I miss feeling loved. I don't know how to be strong enough not to talk with him, email him, call him. I try but then he reaches out to me and I am back in it. How do I get stronger than this? When my boys are with their dad it is the worst.
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