Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am trying to work things out with my husband. We have had power struggles in our relationships and I feel that he is very controlling. I told him that I don't think that it is fair that I have to do all of the housework for him and his three kids when I work as many or more hours than he does each week. Actually, I have been in college too. I work at least 35 hours a week and go to school four nights a week. I do homework on the weekend.
Anyways, my husband told me that he felt the house was my responsiblity because he makes 10x what I make each year. My job is actually experience building for when I begin to teach next year. I told him that I have to work almost twice as many hours as he does. I asked, "If you only have to work one hour to make what you do and I have to work 80 hours, is it fair that I should also have to do all of the housework?" He said "yes, because he has taken on the sole responsibility of making sure the bills are paid. Is this fair? He does have a point about shouldering the financial responsiblity, but I feel like the damn maid. They sit around and play games and watch movies and make messes that I pick up when I get home after a 13 - 14 hour day. Help.
Anyways, my husband told me that he felt the house was my responsiblity because he makes 10x what I make each year. My job is actually experience building for when I begin to teach next year. I told him that I have to work almost twice as many hours as he does. I asked, "If you only have to work one hour to make what you do and I have to work 80 hours, is it fair that I should also have to do all of the housework?" He said "yes, because he has taken on the sole responsibility of making sure the bills are paid. Is this fair? He does have a point about shouldering the financial responsiblity, but I feel like the damn maid. They sit around and play games and watch movies and make messes that I pick up when I get home after a 13 - 14 hour day. Help.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Kids can chip in too.
Husband can work in the domestic stuff also. It might encourage him to go back to school.
Anyway, just take your waking hours and subtract neccessary hours away from home....leaves you with about 4 hours for hygeine, chores and relaxing, etc...
Do the same with his hours...
...and same with kids.
Either that or quit school, and the overtime, and share everything 50/50.
He probably dont understand why you have to be away 14 hours a day from family. Should make for some interesting arguments.
It doesn't solve the problem that he thinks his job is more important than yours, but it would nip that argument in the bud. You are his wife, not his mother. Let him clean after himself, or in the very least help you, or get a maid!!