Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Im not much in the Xmas spirit, but I came across these tonight and thought them quite funny....
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all Yeer
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do? Love,
Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch. Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losingmoney at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE-
PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the
boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all Yeer
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do? Love,
Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch. Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losingmoney at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE-
PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the
boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
deleted_user
doesn't it make you wish you could give them what they really wanted......make a kids day! that would be awsome.
deleted_user
lol
deleted_user
LOL most definitely.
deleted_user
That is cute, Thanks I needed that...
deleted_user
You're welcome :)
deleted_user
very SNL!!!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
