I've always known I was naive, but I am really having to do some serious soul searching just 24 hours after a horribly messy breakup of a relationship of 14 months. My partner has shown signs of violence for some time, but I always ignored... even when physically attacked, because I always wanted to give the "benefit of the doubt". I'm a person who gives limitless chances to those I care about. This time she took it too far. I am not actually physically hurt, but I know the emotional scars will take time to heal. God, that sounds so trite... but I guess it's true. I never felt as threatened as I did that night, I never thought I would have any chance of dying at the hands of someone I thought really loved me. In that moment, though.... I prayed for my life. I never thought I would come as close as I did to losing my life. Now THAT was naive... that stuff does happen every day, anyway, and even if it's never happened to you, it doesn't mean it can't or won't. That is what I realized. Don't worry, I am safe now and have an EPO filed against her. I know that I need to depend on myself more than ever and that's going to require me to trust myself more, obviously... and therefore "make" some self-esteem out of nothing. My parents are both unsupportive emotionally, although very willing to help financially and otherwise. I do feel they blame me for all of this, which I know isn't helping the situation. I need some support. Thanks for caring... even though you all don't know me.
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