We all face ourselves and we all see the person who we were and who we are now. Do I feel different, you bet, do I see things differently, of course. My wife says you seem to be only saying the things I say because of the situation. I look at her and I say of course I am, but I look at what she is really saying by that statement. Is what I say hold any validity to her to me? It does for me because it is the shock of losing out on a life that was built from a dream that came to life in reality. The same story we all have the same thing we go through life searching and finding it. That is love. Love and the meaning and the feeling of love has so many emotions tied to it. The word love is so powerful that it makes us who we are. It builds us up and it tears us down. We try to understand it, we try to live by it, but how many of us truly respect it for all its worth. I believe in it I was fooled by it and sadly maybe I didnt really understand it. I was fooled by thinking that love itself was powerful enough to do the work for me. I was foolish enough to think that love would conquer all. In a way I still believe that but it is how we as individual make that love work for us and for our spouses. We constantly push and pull, we pass each other like two cars going opposite directions, we want one person do something and just get it and at times it takes awhile then when they do get the other person gets tired of the waiting. Then it all turns around and the person who finally gets it now becomes the person who wants the other person to see what they have become. There are so many missed connections to the point where both just cant join up. So they split and take what they learned but still miss the other and still hold regrets and at times still wish that they did find that connection. What I am learning from this is that I became a better man with a better understanding of how a relationship should work. I am trying to come to a stop from the pushing and pulling, stopping the constant passing by of each other and I am trying to completely stop and pause and try to listen in silence to hear my heart beat and wait to see if I can hear her heart beat come back. It is the hardest thing right now to do, to calm myself enough to pause and clear all my thoughts and to have faith. I believe, I believe.
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