I have learned that love is wasted. that children are often more mature than adults. that vows have no meaning. that trust is something not to be given lightly. and i've learned that having a good lawyer on speed dial isn't necessarily a bad thing. lol j/k

I've learned that I'm not as strong as I thought I was and yet it takes a strong woman to be weak. I don't have to be the strong one all of the time anymore.

I've learned that while my stbx didn't love me, I have amazing friends and family who do. They love and support me, I'm truly blessed to have them.

I've learned that it's not how much money you make, it's what you do with it. Without his chaos, I am good with money.

I've learned, quite recently, that it's possible for a man to see me for who I am, not for what he wants from me.

I've learned that divorce is excruciating. And that I will survive it. After all of this? I will thrive.

I have learned alot of what all of you are saying but I think the biggest one to me is I learned to love myself and to find God. This is a wonderful feeling and I think I am doing a great job at it. I know that I have a long way to go but with God on my side I believe I can make it.

Get a coffee, pull up a chair, and sit a spell. Let me tell you what I have learned.


I have been married twice. There are things that I have learned from both.


My opinions of marriage formed as I was growing up as a child. My mind just hung on to the innocence of my pictured married life all my adult life. I pictured the usual I think. Job, home, car, kidshappiness always I think. I hate to admit but maybe I was influenced by June and Ward Cleaver.


I have learned that my fatherly instincts toward my sons is overwhelming. Like I would die for them. This coming from a man who dont like wars and honestly doesnt like the though of dying. When it came to my boys I gave no thought to myself. I was like that with both wives too, but in a different way.


So I learned I have strong love values. Also I have learned that I am crushed by rejection. Its like I make such an effort and its thrown in my face.


The good part of my darkest hours is my faith. I have learned to truly trust God. As I trusted him I found comfort and renewed energy and outlook.


I have learned that you can give a needy destitute woman a good life out of love and she will throw it back in your face through divorce. Some dont appreciate things in life if they dont make the effort to obtain them.


There is one thing that I have learned about alcoholics which is very true. NOTHING an alcoholic does is rational. Its ALL about them.


I have learned that marriage is not the old fashioned good thing that my mind pictures. It is a complex mingling of two individuals. Two individuals that continue to grow, and yes, may continue to grow apart. Two who may have been made for each other at one time, but clash as time passes. I have learned that love is risky business with no guarantees. I used to think that divorced people all have problems and that it would never happen to me once, let alone twice.


I have learned that divorce lawyers are the real scum they are made out to be. Every one. I have also learned divorce laws are not necessarily fair.


I have also learned that you eventually get over what seems impossible to get over. That is the biggest thing that I have learned I think.

I have learned to trust myself and my gut feelings.That I am somebody that is caring and loving and I deserve it too and respect. I have learned that life is not fair or as long.

noob....I, too had the picturesque family life imbedded into my value system, thinking that marriage ~ was meant to be forever; that we would grow old together no matter what the circumstances of life was thrown at the time. And, through this belief, I have ultimately been severely disappointed by my strong values.

(taking sip of coffee)....

I believe, two people must have similar belief systems otherwise they clash and burn.

At this time, moving forward towards a journey unknown is difficult; but yes, attainable, that I have faith in. As the days go by, I'll see a few small glimpses of what life has to offer; what I am willing to accept life give me in return for doing the work. Understanding why I am here and that ultimately, there is a reason why we are where we are, is a search I am endeavouring on at this time.

nood...thanks for your response.

i have learned that God is the only one i can trust, besides myself. i have learned that I can still love someone that i have every right to hate, and it doesnt make me wrong...being with them is wrong for me.

i have learned that no matter how badly i feel, tomorrow comes and my feelings pass. i have learned that i am a strong and loving mother. i learned i was a very foolish woman and hope that i have learned to be more grounded. i am learning to ignore the bad and cherish the good, when it seems best, but it is a struggle. i also hope that i have learned to be more honest, kind and nurturing of someone if i am fortunate enough to love again in the future.

I've learned that:
1. I will survive this event called a Divorce.

2. My children are what keeps me focused.

3. Friends are important.

4. It helps to laugh, even though you want to cry.

What wonderful answers to this question..
I have learned so many things also.

To take responsibility for my poor decisions but not blame myself. Learn from them and make a better choice if that is presented again.

that forgiveness of myself helped me to grow as a person.

that If I want to truly give myself a chance to change any future that I may have, that I had to start with changing myself.. It has taken 3 years, but I can see light where there was darkness..

That I have chosen people that did not love me but that does not make me unlovable.

I have learned most of all how much I care for myself.. I have fallen in love with myself over the past three years as surely as anyone falls in love with someone..

I know that I have so much to offer and give, but will never settle for being 10th on someone else's list of importance. I am more important than that.

I , too, learned that an alcoholic has a skewed sense of truth and what is important to them.

Most of all I am thankful for my faith.. It has helped me climb out of the valley and see the mountains.. What a great post.. Thank you, Kimmee

What have I learned - a good question - at times I don't feel as if it has been anything, I continue to make some of the same mistakes, but on the other hand - I've learned when it comes down to it, all I have to depend on is myself. I have to believe in me, I have to know that I am a good person in spite of my marriage ending. I am not just my marriage, I am a person with feelings, who cares and loves deeply, I am kind, sincere, loyal, on occasion funny. I have a good sense of what is right and what is wrong. I have been a good mother and somwhere over the last 20 years quit loving myself - quit being true to me, to the extent that I pushed him away, am I unlovable, untrustworthy, in capable of giving to others -Nope not at all. I am learning to be me, to appreciate what and who I am - I will survive all of this and honestly believe that I will be better for it - at least I'm not running away from it - I have been forced to deal with it, forced to find answers from within. Is it painful - you bet - but the winds of change are blowing - and will take me to a better place - somewhere, where I deserve to be.

I learned that I rushed into this last marriage before really getting to know my former husband.

I learned that I feel fine being alone and actually enjoy my own company.

I'm learning that having a pet to love makes such a huge difference how I see myself and the rest of the world.

I'm learning that love is not forever and that heartbreaks happens to millions of people every year.

I'm learning not to be so trusting and that I'm not desperate to find another man.

I'm learning to trust God.

I have learned that his decisions are not my fault.

I have learned how to protect myself from emotional abuse.

I have learned that I'm happier and more motivated and have a better self esteem alone.

I have learned that forgiveness changes perspective and I feel sorry for him.

I have learned that facing your fears causes huge growth.

I have learned to speak up for your needs and how to own my mistakes.

I have learned that God doesn't make inadequate broken people. If these things exist he compensates.

I am learning how to love myself.

I guess I have learned, or had to accept, it just wasn't meant to be. That's about it for right now.

I guess I have learned, or had to accept, it just wasn't meant to be. That's about it for right now.