
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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What has happened in this community? We used to have meaningful threads in which we exchanged expieriences and advice, a good post would have several replies and would remain on the front board for more than five minutes. I looked back at some old posts and realized we are not the same anymore. Don't know what happened. We are getting cliquey and it sucks. I think everyone here is great for different reasons. I liked the old BU/D community where we had real life threads, and fun and light hearted threads that meant something. Before everyone got so anti "96" threads, before everyone got so...I don't really know. It's just not the same. Does anyone else feel this way?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
that said, i don't like when my stbx tells me what i should be doing and i also don't like coming here and being told what is ok to say and where it is ok to post. just my two cents, though.
i sort of think it is just the time of year. it is a great time that is also sort of sucky when you are going through a break up.
Some ppl who we'd normally look to are scarce around here. And there are a lot of new faces here with new and fresh pain. A lot of us have seen this pain over and over again; it's like walking backwards on the freeway because traffic keeps coming and coming. I use to be here all day everyday; now as much as I'd like to help I end up feeling helpless for a different reason. Seriously, what do you want us to do?
So I try not to post on those unless it makes me smile and feel good.
Also some post start out good but then tey go south when someone goes of the subject and quick.
But that is just me!
I felt bad last night that I saw some posts that were so raw and I just couldn't bring myself to respond to. It get's so overwhelming. I try to support as much as possible, but I think a lot of us who are farther ahead in the process should really try to share out experience and knowledge as much as possible.
People come here, I believe, looking for help.They are looking for someone who understands where they are at. We all get sick of the empathetic replies we get from people who say that understand where we are at, or they are sure they've been through something similar, or whatever crap they feel like spewing. Here we have all been able to find like minded individuals who are in the same place that we are.
That being said, I have only been coming here for a little over two months. I certainly haven't been as active in the forums as of late. I would agree that there seems to be a lot more downer posts lately - but I would say it's just the ebb and flow of the process.
All of us are in different places in the process. I for one, am flying through my divorce - we separated in July, decided to divorce in September. I filed October 1, and my divorce will finalize next Tuesday. It has been fairly easy. Some people have been going at this for a year, are going through custody battles - and still don't feel like they are getting anywhere - and the simple fact of the matter is that we will all identify with the people whose situations are most like our own.
I think that is where the 'cliquishness' comes in. I may identify well with one person - while you will identify with another. Again, it's just human nature to be with those we identify with. There's nothing good or bad about it. It just is.
You come here looking for answers, empathy and sympathy. You find some answers, you find some connections that help burn the time between the intial hurt and the healing process. And then you wake up one day and realize how great this place is.
But this community is for breakups and divorce. In some ways, it's hard to fit with people once you've started healing because you keep having to dig everything back up. And sometimes you end up reliving things you wish you could leave alone.
So partly, it's healing. And partly it's wanting to not undo the healing that has happened.
I know I have made some amazing friends in my time on here. And while I will always think of HG as my voice, this account represents who I -was-, but not necessarily who I am.
So yeah, I'm still around, as are others who used to post more regularly. So the current state of negativity doesn't have anything to be contrasted with.
In time, people will start seeing the light, they'll start finding the hope they have been looking for. And they'll try and pass it on and be rejected by people who only want to see the situation they are in and nothing else.
So they'll take their hope and go somewhere else where it can be appreciated instead of ignored or trashed in bitterness.
...I'd throw in here something about once a DSer, always a DSer, but I'm not big on sap.