I was 34 years married. Our mariage was not good in the last few years. My husband refused counseling and after many years, I'm afraid I just 'gave up'. I do know he was abused as a boy/teen, then we married when I was 19 and he 23. We moved to 3 different countries while married.. the worse part being when we moved to our current location 25 years ago. We have 4 sons, and now 4 grandchildren. Things got quite bad the past few years; so much so that we both wanted 'out', but the resources to do it were never forthcoming. Last year he took up with an older woman who lived next door. When I discovered this, he became more like the person I used to know.. very attentive and kind.. and made me believe there was never anything there, and what was was over.
He went on a holiday to visit relatives, then I discovered he took this woman with him. This woman has a very 'questionable' family (daughter and granddaughter). During the time he was away, the daughter would come under my window at night.. heavy breathing and sighing.. 'ohhh, baby, baby, baby'. I phoned where I thought my husband was and told him I knew he was there with the old woman, and demanded he come home and sort things out. He refused and said he was going to 'enjoy his holiday'.
When he did return 2 weeks later, we put things in motion to sell the house. I discoverd that he neglected to pay the mortgage and the house was up for foreclosure. I called the bank and the lady there said that although foreclosure had begun, she would stall it, if I could provide proof that the house was on the market. This I did. Here followed horrendous days of my neighbours laughing at me, cat calling, staring.. the old woman herself sticking her backside out at me.. parading outside my house.. telling me to 'F' myself and generally making life miserable. Still my husband did nothing to assist me to move. My eldest son jumped in and rented an apartment with me, as there wasn't any way I could afford to it myself. All the time my husband turned a blind eye to it all. When I told him they were laughing at me, he said, 'she likes to laugh'. Like responses to everything else. The story goes on and on of the things they did.
finally the house sold, and my husband decided he was going to follow a dream and live north. I recieved a phone call from him a week after he left, saying he would call again when he was established or in a week. This never happened. I finally found him in the next state.. and he admitted living with the old woman. I do have a lawyer who is going to finally (now we know more or less where he is), going to have him served with papers. Unfortunatley this hasn't happened yet. My husband is not corresponding with me, and has not contacted his sons (except one.. very briefly). We have a new baby granddaughter who we thought he would want to and need to know about, but he is completely uninterested.

It is awful hard knowing he is throwing away his family, and the anger I feel at this nasty old woman recieving the financial support that should be mine, is overwhelming. (not to mention all the other obvious stuff). My biggest concern is what to do with the anger.. humiliation and sense of utter betrayal? Mostly the anger though. It is encroaching on all other areas of my life. And I just don't know what to do.