Have you ever felt like you were sitting in a dark cold room with a plastic bag over your head and you just can't breathe nor see? I'm there right now and I have no idea what I can do. I love my husband so much, he's my best friend, the air I breathe, the beat to my heart. About a month ago he closed off, started keeping his distance, said he needed time to re-group but having his space. After I found out he had cheated in November, I shut down. I put up walls and was so mean to him. I was too scared to let him off too easy, in fear that it would open a door to do it again years down the road. Now, I've screwed myself. I've damaged us! I told him I was sorry and I am working with a counselor to deal with my emotions and hurt. I had no-one to talk to , no-one to go to on how to deal with what happened. I did it the best to my knowledge. We went to the counselor today for the first time as a couple, she asked us to give a 3 month commitment in trying to make this work. He said he could only commit to one month. However, how can we work on it when he's constantly taking space. I don't want this to end, I'm scared, I'm sick everyday, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I want to call him all the time just to say I love you. Then he gets mad and said he can't have his space if I'm constantly calling him. I try so hard to stop and avoid calling him over and over, but I just fear he doesnt know how much I love him. It's such a hard temptation to stop. If this ends, I want to die, I want to die so bad if I can't have the life, the future, the dreams we've always talked about. He's the most amazing person in my life, he makes me whole. When he's gone I feel so empty, so lonely. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. I pray all the time, why won't my prayers be answered. We can make it I know we can. We can live the dreams that we've always wanted to. We've dreamed of having a family, we dreamed of what it would be like when I get big and pregnant and my hubby rubs my tummy! I need help, I need advice, I need something. Mostly, I need to know my husband and I are going to make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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