It,s really getting to me that after 25yrs my husband can just throw it all just for sex,we didn,t have sex every bloody night but it,s bloody hard when your in acute chronic pain,it,s not like he didn,t know what he was letting himself in for when we married,i tried so hard but when you are physically shattered because your in a constant battle with your pain and the treatment of cancer then it,s hard to feel bloody sexy!he was the last person i expected would do this,to say i,m hurt and angry is really an understatement! he keep,s telling me he loves me but he,s not in love with me!,in other words that,s a cop out,it,s almost like saying well i,m gonna go out and have sex with a load of women and i will come back when i,ve got it all outta my system,it,s too late now i can,t take anymore b/s from him what did i do so wrong to make him leave me? i have just found out that he,s been telling everyone that it,s all my fault! i,m not perfect but i,ll be buggered if i,m gonna keep my mouth shut! i,m so bloody messed up in my head,he,s really done a number on me all cuz he couldn,t get sex on tap,i truely wish right now that this cancer will just spread and i can just go to sleep one day and never wake up!i,ve done my job,i,ve brought our son up and he,s now a man,i just wish right now that i was dead cuz i can,t take much more of this hell i,m living with,i wish i had someone i could talk to but whats the point? it,s not gonna change things is it? i hate what he,s done and i hate him for hurting me like this why?
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