After reading many post on here and putting my on journal on here why cannot we accept what is going on and move? How come we give advice to others and not eat our own words? This is what I keep questioning myself. My husband decided almost two years ago to start "looking" on the net even signed up for a discrete sex service in our local area. I have been made a fool of twice, then we go on vacation this past June and he gets caught messing around with his cousin's wife. Why in the heck am I still here? Are my emotions so strong and tied to values that I cannot walk out this door and be happy? What I want in life, love, openness, communication will never exist again in our life. I feel it in my gut and my heart. You would think after his wake up call a little over a month ago would mean something, he felt sorrow. Then two weeks ago on a Saturday I went out of town, he left here about 10:15 pm when I arrived at my destination and he came home God knows when. I found out thru the neighbor. It was so out of character for him, he is a firefighter and had to be at the station at 7 the next morning and on top of that riding in charge. He is a very big stickler for going to bed early due to his job. When I questioned him red flags went up everywhere. I know he lied, no phone calls on his phone like he told me. I don't care anymore, I hate liars, stand up and be a man. But why do we do this to ourselves, what are we proving. Sorry y'all, I just had to ask and vent here. Sorry this is so long.
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