First I'd say get a grip on your feelings. You have been his father all his life and that isn't going to change by any DNA test. I believe that you need to go for awhile before acting on any decisions.

Is it possilbe that you STBX just said this to get a rise out of you?

Exactly what I was thinking. I agree with Rob no test changes the fact this is your child and chances are it's only a weapon to hurt you.

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.

I cannot believe that you will stop loving him or him loving you. He is your son. What would a DNA test prove? Will it verify your love.

I agree. She may be saying that to hurt you.

Hang in there. Let your son know it take more to be a father than donating sperm.

There is little doubt in my mind that i am not his bio father. Based on how he looks and the timing of what she says was a one night stand. I have also had a feeling for years he was not my bio son. But regardless i love him as if he were.

oh my gosh, imagine how your feeling. now imagine if your son finds out. i'm not sure that i'm right about this, but bury it away somewhere and never let it out again. there is no need for that child to suffer. hopefully she was just being a jerk when she said that.

I belive she is telling the truth. I asked her why she confesses now, She says she wants to work things out and coming clean w/everything was the first step she needed to take. Up until now all i wanted to hear was "lets work it out" but now i just dont know. That twice she has cheated. I am very confused and have know idea what to do. This Sux. I feel like a fool.

I have know idea how to handle the situation w/my son. Should i tell him and if so when? He has a right to know doesnt he? If he finds out from someone else when he feel like i have been lieing to him all his life? will he feel like his whole life is a lie? I cant believe how things have change in less than 2 mnts. My life sux now.

Your life is really no worse than it was before, only now you know the truth. Let's hope it is the whole truth.
You do not have to say anything to your son right now. I would wait until you get a handle on your feelings. You are reeling now, understandably so. Let that die down because whatever and whenever you tell him, you are going to have to be able to help him deal with his feelings, so you have to have yours sorted out first.
I would think your wife did the right thing by telling you the truth. Do you think so?

Absolutely. Confessing the affair was the right thing to do. the question now is do i get a paternity test to find out for sure. She seems to think he is my son but i just dont think so. would knowing he wasnt my bio son make a difference? i wish i knew someone who has been through this and can tell me how the nightmare ends.

Biology doesn't make you a father. My sister isn't my dad's and he has treat her like his own since he was 12. Whatever you happens - remember you're the only dad he's ever known.

Lord, it's late! Type-o city... what I was trying to say is that my dad has raised my sister since she was 2 years old. Whether he's "yours" or not, you are his father.

Did she say he wasn't or you figured that out?
What are you going to do if you find out he is "not yours". What will it do to him?
Does it matter now?
will not knowing haunt you, or will knowing haunt you?

She thinks he is mine but is not sure. I guess I should clify. I love my son he will always be mine no matter what. I would never do or say anything to hurt him. Finding out paternity is more for my sake. If i never find out for sure will it eat at me for the rest of my life? Is knowing better?

I have no idea how it is going to affect you. Maybe take some time to determine this before you do anything. Everyone is different. You have to do whatever you can live with. Being a woman, it's hard for me to visualize how this feels. Other than a huge betrayal.
I don't know whether you can act the exact same way to your son after the test. You might change. Even if you don't want that.